Under Pressure

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN ON HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY

"You met her parents already?"

"By the end of the night, I was calling them 'mom' and 'dad'!"

"So when is she meeting your folks?"

"I want to meet your parents."

"I've--never had sex."

"So you're the little lady who has made David so happy lately?"
"Unless there's another woman that David's not telling us about."
"No, dear, David's father is the one with the other women."

"Are you Calvin Adler?"
"No, I'm his son. Can I help you?"
"Just make sure he gets these papers and let him know that he's being served."

"Who is Lucy Greer?"
"Some woman I worked with one time."

"Don't let my dad's past shape your opinion of him."
"David, I'm sure I will love your dad just like I love his son."
"What?"

"I love you."

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"I don't know what to say."

It was probably the wrong thing to say, but at that point in time, it was the only thing I felt I could say honestly. Honesty is supposed to be the best policy, but whoever said that probably never had a high school girlfriend.

"I shouldn't have said that."

"No. I'm glad you did."

That was a lame response, but I figured it was better than "I don't know what to say."

"So..."

"So..."

"Do you love me?"

I hate being blind sighted like that.

"I really really like you."

As if that made things better.

"Look, Joy, I really appreciate hearing that. You have to understand no one's ever told me that besides my family and my boys, but even than it's more of a casual thing."

"No, I understand. You're not ready to say it."

"Exactly, and until I am ready to say it, I don't want to say it without meaning it."

I looked into her eyes to try and find the hurt. I admit that I felt bad, but what could I do?

After I reassured her once more that someday I would be able to say it, I walked back to Rebellion the Pontiac and drove home, feeling like an idiot AND a failure.

My name is David, and I'm a normal high school student.

But the question I was facing at the moment was, "Is it normal for you to say the three little words in high school?"

I met up with my three best friends, Mark Adams, Michael Florence, and Aaron Stanwick at school early the next morning. Michael, Aaron, and I all had parking passes, so we would just have to wait for Mark's bus to get to school.

"She said the 'l' word?"

"Isn't that a lesbian show?"

"I take it you watch this program, Mark?"

"On occasion, when I don't have anything else to do...or anyone."

"You're a virgin, remember?"

"Who asked you?"

"So, David, what are you going to do?"

"I don't really know what I can do. I mean, I like her a lot, but we've only been going out for three weeks. I just don't understand how this happened so fast."

"You can't really control love. One day you're just walking down the street, and then, seemingly out of nowhere, the love bug comes walking beside you, crawls up your pant leg, and bites you in the ass."

We all took a moment to stare at Mark. Even though we all knew about the situation with his past lover, Faye Winston, but that didn't stop us from getting uncomfortable when he talked about love.

Just then, we caught a glimpse of Faye with her boyfriend, Remi. He was from some other country and had an accent. I still don't understand what's so great about accents. I feel like they would get in the way of a perfectly good conversation. Oh well, at least my girlfriend's from the USA.

"Look at them, all sexually active. God, if I hadn't passed up that chance, I would be--"

"In a very dark place. Being a virgin's not so bad."

"That's because you're a Mormon. Well, I'm Atheist, and I say to hell with abstinence. I have GOT to get laid!"

I really couldn't tell you why we were so shocked by Mark's latest endeavour. I mean, we were used to it by now, hearing of his "escapades" and finding out which girls never to get involved with due to their tendency to cling their shyness, or simply by their bushes of pubic hair. You would think that Mark wanting to move past third base would not surprise us. We hadn't even known he was a virgin until a month prior to this.

But we were surprised anyway. All of us were virgins, and ever since we had found out that Mark was, it has almost been a bond that we shared. Of course Mark would probably be the first to lose his virginity, and then depending on how far I would get with Joy would depend on my status, and Aaron would definitely be the last since he was waiting until marriage. But we never thought about the idea of any of us losing our virginities. We weren't the kind of guys that will fuck the first thing that came their way.

"I will fuck the first thing that comes my way if I have to."

Ok, most of us were not like that. Michael had been on and off with Leslie Lawrence enough times that they could have had sex, but they didn't. Michael never really said anything about it either other than stating the fact that he was a virgin. Which posed a question.

"Hey Michael, how come you and Leslie never had sex?"

"She's waiting until marriage."

"But if she wasn't waiting until marriage..."

"I don't know. I wouldn't exactly call myself a very sexual person. Women aren't objects."

"EXACTLY! And there's nothing wrong with waiting until marriage."

"I never said there was anything wrong with it. It just wouldn't be my choice."

"I don't understand why, though. I mean, why do you think Mormons have so many kids?"

"Because they're secretly rabbits and they multiply rapidly?"

Aaron shook off my comment. "It's because they've waited so long to have sex, and by the time they get married, it doesn't matter how great the sex is by other people's standards because they won't know the difference. And then they'll just continue consummating over and over and over."

We looked at our friend for a few moments in silence. It was the first time he ever really talked about sex as a good thing.

Than, as if out of nowhere, Faye Winston walked over to us. Remi probably had to go talk to a teacher or something.

"Hello, Mark."

"Faye."

"Lost your virginity yet?"

"Why?"

"No reason. Just wanted to know if you found whatever it was you were looking for."

"Faye, can you please leave Mark alone? You haven't talked to each other in months."

"You know, Michael, you always did have trouble staying out of other people's business."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Oh. Must be a new problem."

"Were you born a bitch, or did it develop over time?"

"Who are you again?"

"We're Mark's friends, and he's a much better person than you will ever be."

We all stood in defense of our friend.

"Fine. Let your friends take care of you like the pussy you are, and you can watch the pussy you could have had walk away."

I looked at Mark as Faye walked away.

"Why were you involved with her again?"

"She wasn't always like that. She used to be such a nice person. We would talk for hours about the stupidest things, and whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears..."

It was at this moment where I knew that we were all thinking the exact same thing.

"You're still in love with her."

"What? That's crazy. How could I still be in love with her?"

"Because of the nonsense phone calls and the sweet nothings of which you were just reminiscing."

Mark knew that we were right. We could tell from his facial expression. But he would never admit it. We could tell that from his personality.

That night, I called Joy. We hadn't talked since she told me she loved me, and I figured this would be a good time to talk.

"Hello?"

"Hey, babe."

"Hi. How are you?"

"I'm great, but I miss you."

"Than why don't you come over?"

I didn't really have anything else to do, so I said "Ok. Be there in a few."

"I'll be waiting."

There was something strangely seductive in her tone. It was almost strange.

I drove to Joy's house, wondering what her tone could mean? Maybe it was all that talk of sex today at school. I wasn't thinking straight.

But it seemed my suspicions were true when my girlfriend answered the door wearing a white silk robe. "Hello, David."

"Joy, I--"

"Don't say anything, just come in."

At this point, I would normally say that this was a very stupid idea and that we shouldn't do this, but this was not a normal occurrence, and unfortunately I was thinking with my other head.

"My parents are spent the day in Flagstaff. They won't be home for hours."

"Okay."

"So why don't you get naked and you can meet me in their room."

As Joy left, seductively twirling her robe belt, I couldn't think straight. I was about to lose my virginity. I instantly thought of Aaron, who would probably say something about how having sex with Joy probably ruined our entire relationship. Mark would have been furious at the idea that I had lost mine before he lost his. Michael probably wouldn't have said anything. I don't really think he would have cared.

By this time, I was standing in my boxers, continuing to think with my dick and not with my brain, disregarding any thoughts that had to do with Aaron, Michael, or Mark. But somehow, as I was about to take off my boxers, my brain turned on and I started thinking about the consequences. What if it did damage our relationship? Or worse, what if she got pregnant, and we were forced to stay together. I didn't love her--at least not yet--and I was certainly not ready for a sexual relationship and all of the strings that were attached to it.

I put my clothes back on and walked into Joy's parents' room. I opened the door to find that she was completely nude. I have to say it was a beautiful sight, but I had to stop my penis from taking over again. I was using my brain.

"Why are you still dressed?"

"Joy, I don't think this is such a good idea."

She stared for a moment.

"I guess I just thought that if we had sex, well, it would make me feel like less of an idiot for saying I love you."

"But you're NOT an idiot for telling me that. I'm the idiot for not loving you. I'm just--"

"--not ready."

"Just like I said the other night. And when I am ready, I will say it every day, and maybe we will have sex. But I guess I'm not ready for that either."

Joy and I shook off the entire experience. She put her clothes back on, and we went downstairs to watch a movie. I loved spending time with her, and I loved being her boyfriend. I loved everything about her; her smile, her laugh, the way her lips felt when they were pressed against mine. Could it have been that I loved her? I decided to take my chances.

"I love you too."

She looked at me lovingly. "What was the sudden change of heart?"

"Because I have run out of reasons not to love you."

We kissed for a while, and then when the movie was over, I went home. I probably said "I love you" about a million times before I got into Rebellion and left. But when I got home, the lovefest was over, and reality was back.

"When were you going to tell me about this, Cal?"

"I can't do this anymore, Linda. I won't take your abuse anymore."

"There's the door. You're not contributing anything to this household anyway."

"So all I am is money to you?"

"No. Now the only money I see is the money that you're being SUED FOR!"

"Linda, when you are ready to have a civilized conversation, let me know. I'm going upstairs."

"Fine, then. Run away to your safe little computer and sweep everything under the rug."

"Shut up, Linda."

"Fuck you, Calvin."

My dad went upstairs and my mom sat down on the couch. "Is this the Lucy Greer thing?"

"Yeah."

"So, what's he going to do?"

"He's probably going to dodge it. We don't have two thousand dollars for him to give the woman. We don't really have any money for anything."

"No one does."

My mom looked at me for a moment.

"David, you need to get a job. You need to be able to help out with some things. If nothing else, you need to help pay your car insurance and pay for your gas."

"I'll go look for one this weekend."

"And be aggressive. I know that people are struggling financially right now, but you won't be the only teenager with a job."

"Okay."

For some reason, I didn't tell my mom about telling Joy that I loved her. I mean, it really wasn't her business, but maybe part of me didn't want to make my mom think of relationships.

I spent so much time being angry at my family that I never really thought about how much trouble they were in. My father needed a job, and my sister was paying rent, and Jake was being scarred for life everytime my parents opened their mouths. Now I was being affected. A job would cut into my social life, and I would have a little less time to do the rest of my work, but I needed to help my family. Part of loving someone is being able to make sacrifices for them, and despite all of my problems with my family, I did love them, just like I loved Michael, Mark, Aaron, and Joy.

David Adler

Normal High School Student

Family Affair

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN ON HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY

"Well, my family's not exactly what I would call the Brady Bunch. My parents are no exception."
"Well who's folks aren't?"

"GO TO HELL, CAL!"

"ALREADY THERE, LINDA!"

"If we're going to be in a relationship than we have to be able to talk about these things."

"My mom's a receptionist and my dad lost his job because of the recession. My parents fight all the time, so I tend to keep myself away."

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"You met her parents already?"

I was telling Aaron Stanwick about my date with Joy. We had only been dating for a few weeks, but her parents decided that they really wanted to meet me. Being that I had never been in a relationship before, I wasn't sure what it would be like meeting a girlfriend's parents. It was surprisingly easy.

"By the end of the night, I was calling them 'mom' and 'dad'!"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Her mom was really great. Just like the moms you see on TV from the '50s. And her dad was--well he was kind of cold at first, but he was great too once we got to talking."

"So basically you had dinner with the Cleavers?"

"Well, I don't think her mom was vacuuming in pearls."

Aaron and I had this weird sense of humor. We talked about really random things and tried to relate them to our lives.

"So when is she meeting your folks?"

"Ha ha."

"Well you've met her folks. Isn't it kind of normal for her to meet yours?"

I guess on some level Aaron had a point. I mean, it was the natural order, but my family wasn't exactly natural.

My name is David, and I'm a normal high school student.

But my family is anything but normal.

For one thing, my dad, Calvin, is sort of, well, moody. He acts really happy around other people, but when he gets home, he's really upset about life. It's as if he waits until he gets home so he doesn't ruin his image. Then there's my mom, Linda. She is resentful to my dad because he is unemployed and she's working as a receptionist. My sister, Libby, is 29 and still lives with us. I'm probably closer with her than I am with anyone else in my family, but she still has her issues. And of course, there's Jake, my 14 year-old brother who thinks that the world is crashing down on him every two seconds.

I really don't have much to do with them because I have removed myself from the drama. I need a normal high school experience, and I can't have that clouded with the stupidity of my family.

The next night, I picked up Joy and we went to go see a chick flick.

"You actually want to see it? I've had to drag my previous boyfriends to these movies."

"Well, that's the difference. You see, those are your previous boyfriends, and I'm your current one. Otherwise, I couldn't do this..."

We made out for a few minutes (just in case you didn't infer from my smoothness).

"So, what did you think of my parents?"

"They were great. I really liked them."

"They really liked you, too."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. So, um, when am I going to meet yours?"

"What?"

"I want to meet your parents."

Well that was an unexpected turn of events. I guess Aaron was right. She had to meet them sometime. Not wanting a repeat of the last time my family came up in conversation, I decided to take the high road.

"Why don't I ask my folks and maybe have you over on Friday night?"

"That sounds great!"

The movie was pretty good. Not that we were really watching it, but the actors seemed to know what they were doing and from what I noticed there were no major editing flaws.

After the movie, I dropped her off at her house and I walked her to the door.

"Don't forget to ask them."

"I won't forget." No matter how much I wanted to, I wouldn't forget to ask them. With a kiss, we said goodnight, and I went home.

The next day was Saturday, so I met Aaron, along with Mark Adams and Michael Florence at the Coffee Plantation. Joy was not working that day, so I could vent openly (hopefully Joy's coworkers weren't nosy).

"We haven't even spent long periods of time with them!"

"You're seriously going to expose your girlfriend to the people you refer to as 'The Munsters' in casual conversation?"

"I knew that this day would come. I told you that the minute you met her parents she would want to meet yours!"

"You met her parents?"

"I've never met a girlfriend's parents. I feel like it would be awkward eating with parents whose child I ate out."

"Thank you for that lovely picture."

"Guys, I'm just as freaked out about this as you are. Although I can't imagine why you're all so freaked out. It's not like they're YOUR parents."

"But we know about how you feel about them. Are you sure you want to do this?"

I thought about it for a second. I mean, I didn't want to do it, but...

"It's something that she wants. And in a relationship, you often have to put your own feelings aside in order to make the other person happy."

"Who are you? Carrie Bradshaw?"

"Is that really how you admitted that you watch Sex and the City?"

"Fuck you."

I asked my parents about dinner, and they actually said yes.

"We would love to meet the girl that's stolen you from this family."

Ok, it wasn't the most ideal way to say yes, but Joy would be happy.

Joy's parents dropped her off at my house around 6:30. Once the doorbell rang, I knew that chaos was ready to ensue.

"I brought a pound cake. Am I overdressed?"

She wore a white long-sleeved shirt and a summery-type skirt. I was wearing a white and blue striped dress shirt untucked with a pair of jeans.

"You look beautiful." I kissed her.

"EWWW!" Jake was by the door. He was a typical 14 year-old. Stupid and immature.

"Jake, this is Joy. Joy, this is Jake."

"Hi." He shook her hand and then went upstairs to watch some TV.

"David, you need to--oh, hi."

"Libby, Joy, Joy, Libby."

"Oh, it's so nice to finally meet you! David, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second?"

With a request like that, how could I say no? I turned to Joy. "I'll be back in two seconds. Make yourself comfortable."

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

Libby and I walked to the kitchen. "What's up?"

"Are you sleeping with her?"

Um, ok.

"What the hell kind of question is that?"

"I just want to make sure you're being careful."

"I have only been dating her for about a month! Do you really think I'd be that stupid?"

"No, I'm just making sure."

"Making sure of what?"

My mom had been too busy making the chicken to pay attention to our conversation. "Nothing mom. Don't worry about it."

"Is the little woman here yet?"

"Oh, yeah. I'll go get her."

Joy was standing in the same spot that she was when I had left. "Ready to meet my mom?"

"Yeah!"

We walked into the kitchen and my mom took a good look at her.

"Joy, this is my mother, Linda Adler. Mom, this is my girlfriend, Joy."

"I've heard so much about you, Mrs. Adler. You are so much prettier than David described you."

I actually never described my mother to Joy. She was a little heavy-set, but actually was a very beautiful woman despite her weight.

Next came my dear old dad.

"Linda, what's for dinner?"

"Chicken. And we have a guest."

"Oh?"

He took a good look at Joy. "So you're the little lady who has made David so happy lately?"

"Unless there's another woman that David's not telling us about."

"No, dear, David's father is the one with the other women."

"Linda, please don't start tonight."

"Ok, why don't we all go to the table and eat."

"FINALLY!" Dinner time was Jake's favorite time of day.

Dinner wasn't too bad. Chicken is Mom's specialty, and she always figures out new ways to make it good. My parents were also on their best behavior because everyone decided to take this opportunity to drill Joy about her life.

"Where do you go to school?"

"Do you like working at Coffee Plantation?"

"Is David your first boyfriend?"

"Are you a virgin?"

I have to say, I was very proud of her for being able to hold up her end of the conversation without getting too uncomfortable. It seemd that everything was going well, until...

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"I'll get it." I figured it would be a good thing for Joy to spend some time alone with the family. But, when I went to the door...

"Are you Calvin Adler?"

"No, I'm his son. Can I help you?"

"Just make sure he gets these papers and let him know that he's being served."

"He's being what?"

"Served. With a lawsuit. Good day."

When the server left, I looked at the papers. Apparently my dad screwed someone over and owed them $2,000. Some woman named Lucy Greer. I stood for a moment. What was I supposed to do with this information? It's times like these when I tend to do the stupidest things.

"Dad, can you come here for a second?"

"Yeah, just a second."

He got up from the table and walked over to the front door.

"What's going on?"

"Who is Lucy Greer?"

"Some woman I worked with one time. Why?"

"Well, she's invited you to a party at the courthouse. Cover charge is TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS!"

I didn't realize I had spoken so loudly. Everyone at the table looked at us.

"David, can we please do this tomorrow?"

"Dad, why do you owe this woman money?"

"It's probably a misunderstanding."

"Oh great, another misunderstanding."

"I don't want to do this with you."

"Funny how you can't always get what you want, Dad. You can't have things you can't afford, or else THIS happens."

Sometime during my talk with Dad, Joy had gotten up and taken her purse.

"David, can you take me home? I should probably leave."

I looked at my dad coolly, and then said "Yeah, let's go."

The car ride was silent for awhile.

"So, I really liked your family."

"That's good."

"Your mom's chicken was delicious."

"Always is."

More silence.

"So, what was going on with your dad?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"When do I not want to know?"

I took a deep breath and told her the story.

"Oh my God."

"Yeah."

"He just seemed like such a nice man."

"He's not a bad guy. He just--makes a lot of mistakes financially."

"Who doesn't in this economy?"

"He's never been good with money, and he always gets himself in these kinds of binds."

"You mean this isn't the first time."

"This is the first time it's gone to court. Like I said, he's not a bad guy. He just makes a lot of financial mistakes, and moral ones too."

"I thought you said he was religious."

"He knows the Torah, just not how to apply it to real life."

We talked for a while longer about my dad's history--his childhood that consisted of getting everything he wanted, and his irresponsible lifestyle choices. And then we talked about my mom, who is a martyr for having taken my father's crap for 23 years, and then we talked about how depressing it was that Libby still lived at home, and how Jake can be so irrationally immature. That is when we got to her place, and I walked her to her door. It was about 9:30.

"So, besides the end, I had a really great time with your family. I definitely want to meet them again."

"I'm sure my mom would love to have you."

"Well, goodnight."

"Wait--"

"Yes?"

"Don't let my dad's past shape your opinion of him."

"David, I'm sure I will love your dad just like I love his son."

"What?"

She paused for a moment.

"I love you?"

I was shocked. I mean, we had only been dating for three weeks, but they were some of the best weeks of my life. I didn't know what to say, so I said the only thing I really could say.

"I don't know what to say."

It was probably the wrong thing to say, but at that point in time, it was the only thing I felt I could say honestly. Honesty is supposed to be the best policy, but whoever said that probably never had a high school girlfriend.

David Adler

Normal High School Student

Potential Break-Up Song

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN ON HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY

"When has Eternity ever failed me?"
"I don't know. Why don't we ask all the other girlfriends you've had?"

"Eager to talk to me?"

"I have to cancel."

"Meet us in front of Coffee Plantation at 7:30. Wear what we picked out, and you might want to brush up on your Billy Joel."

"I figured that if you couldn't make it to Valentine's Day, then Valentine's Day would just have to make it to you."

"KISS HIM!"

"Happy Valentine's Day, Joy."
"Happy Valentine's Day, David."

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"I'm sorry, Leslie! David needed my help."

Michael Florence was on the phone with his on-again/off-again girlfriend, Leslie Lawrence. They had had plans to meet on Valentine's Day to enjoy single life as friends (whenever they did this, they got back together. It was exhausting trying to keep up with their relationship).

"I just can't believe you would just cancel on me like that. I told my girlfriends that I couldn't be single with them because I had plans with you, and where was I? At home watching reruns of Home Improvement on Nick @ Night!"

"Leslie, chill out. It's not like we're together anymore."

"And you always wonder why I never get into relationships. You get together, you break up, and then the bitch always wants more."

Mark Adams always had a way with words, but they weren't the kind of words that Aaron Stanwick would have liked to hear.

"Mark, one of these days there's gonna be another Faye Winston for you who's not going to treat you like you're the scum of the world."

Faye Winston was the only girl who Mark ever fell in love with. He told us about her a few weeks ago right before I had my first real interaction with Joy Harris, my new girlfriend. "Girlfriend." What a fun word to say.

My name is David and I'm a normal high school student.

And as Mark rambled about how pointless he thought relationships were, I thought about the possibilities that would come with my new relationship. I guess my friends weren't the perfect example of relationship experience...

Mark's relationships consisted of meaningless hookups.

Michael's relationships--well--relationship--consisted of a couple months of PDA and another heartbreaking break-up (for Leslie that is. Michael never really thought much of it).

And Aaron's relationships consisted of a couple dates and then a friendship. It's not to say that Aaron was completely inexperienced with relationships, but he was saving his true romanticism for when he was an adult and he was looking for a wife.

And then there was me. I had never been in any sort of relationship before. I didn't really know what to expect. What would Joy expect?

"So are you and Leslie back together again?"

"Did you fuck Faye Winston yet?"

"Can we stop with the use of that word?"

"That's a whole lot of questions."

That ended the banter.

"Look, you guys should probably leave. I have a date tonight."

"Okay. Who's turn is it to drive me?"

"Nose goes."

"Dang it. Ok, come on Mark."

"Later, Dave."

Michael was the last to leave. "Are you gonna be alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Is she going to cancel on you this time? Because all I can really do for you this time is bring over some Chunky Monkey and a copy of The Holiday."

Isn't sarcasm beautiful?

"Don't worry about me. Joy requested time off last week."

"Okay, man. Later."

At 7:00, I headed over to Joy's house to pick her up for our first official date. We were doing the standard dinner and a horror flick. I know it's textbook, but it always works in the movies.

I rang the doorbell, and she showed up at the door, wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and a sweatshirt. I was wearing a white dress shirt over a navy blue shirt (untucked, of course).

"You look great."

"Really? Thanks."

"So where do you want to eat?"

"Why don't we get a pizza?"

"Sounds good. I know a great place."

We got into Rebellion the Pontiac and headed for 3.14, a nearby pizza place that had a mathematical theme. It's a known fact that the founders were major mathletes in high school.

"Your car is really nice."

"Thanks. It gets me around."

"How long have you had it?"

"My folks got it for my 16th birthday. It was kind of a 'thanks for putting up with our crap--here's a car' type of thing.'"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, my family's not exactly what I would call the Brady Bunch. My parents are no exception."

"Well who's folks aren't?"

"Good point. So what kind of music do you like?"

"Do you have any Coldplay?"

I was liking her more every second. I put the album, "A Rush of Blood to the Head". It was their best album.

"I love this album!"

"Me too!"

We belted out the lyrics to "Politik". She had a really good voice. "Did you make Regionals?"

"No, unfortunately. How did you know I auditioned?"

"I saw you there. In fact, I was going to go talk to you before your audition."

"Why didn't you?"

"Well, I was a little nervous at first, and then right as I was about to come over to you, you were called in for your audition."

"Well, at least we're together now."

She placed her hand on mine as my other hand continued to man the steering wheel.

"So do you have a car?"

"No. I don't drive yet. My parents won't even let me get my permit until I have enough money to pay for insurance."

"That sucks."

"I actually don't mind. I don't really want to drive. It's such a scary thought."

"Wow. I was so ready to drive when I got my permit. I couldn't stand not being able to drive. I felt so helpless."

"Well, it helps to have a man who can drive."

"Who, your father?"

She playfully hit me on the arm as I pulled into the parking lot of 3.14. We got out of the car and went into the pizza place.

For the most part it was more of that gooey first-date stuff I was rambling about earlier, so let's just skip to the drama of the night.

"Why won't you talk about your family?"

"I can't say."

"Why not?"

"Because it's personal."

"If we're going to be in a relationship than we have to be able to talk about these things."

"It's our first date. We're not supposed to talk about things as personal as that."

"I told you my bedwetting story."

I paused. "This is a little more complicated than wetting the bed until you were seven."

"Look, if you're not going to be open with me, than maybe you should just take me home."

Another pause.

"Fine. Check please."

The drive back to her place was silent and awkward. We didn't blast Coldplay, and we didn't have any sort of banter. I was going to say something to her, but I decided not to. I didn't want to make things more awkward.

When I pulled up to her house, I decided to talk. "I'm sorry about tonight."

"Me too." And with that, she left my car and walked into her house. I didn't bother to walk her to her door. It would have been more awkward.

On the way home, I couldn't stop thinking about how I screwed it up. Was I crazy not to reveal the horrible background behind my family?

When I got home, I ignored the sound of my screaming parents and I went to my room. After a short period of time, I decided to call Joy and tell her the truth. What could it hurt? Any potential relationship was probably doomed anyway.

"Hello?"

"My mom's a receptionist."

"Okay..."

"My mom's a receptionist and my dad lost his job because of the recession. My sister Libby pays the entire rent sometimes, and my brother Jake is a typical 13 year-old full of angst at the world. My parents fight all the time, so I tend to keep myself away. I'm not really connected with them a whole lot anymore."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you were right. If we are going to be a couple we have to be hinest with each other, and that means me opening up about the bad stuff."

"I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll give me another chance. I really want this to work."

"I do too."

"So, I'll call you tomorrow night?"

"I'll be waiting."

So my first date with Joy wasn't exactly what some would call the ideal beginning of a relationship, but maybe the relationships that start off the rockiest become the most ideal. Or maybe relationships that happen in the movies aren't the ideal relationships that we want. Maybe what we want is real, and our ideas are just distractions from the reality that we need to have good relationships.

David Adler

Normal High School Student

Two Less Lonely People in the World

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN ON HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY

"I've never had sex."

"Are you still friends with that loser Mark Adams?"

"Yes, Mark and I are still friends. In fact, he's one of my best friends still."

"Hi, welcome to the Coffee Plantation. The counter is right over there if you want to order something."

"Look I just wanted to thank you for helping us out over there."

"Let me tell you what. I'll give you an application if I can interview you beforehand."
"Are you asking me out?"

"So?"

"I have a date on Valentine's Day!"

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"Don't forget to get her some flowers and chocolate. Bitches love that shit."

I just love it when Mark Adams decides to be sentimental.

It was February 13--the day before Valentine's Day, and my three best friends, Mark, Aaron Stanwick, and Michael Florence, were helping me get ready for my big date with Joy Harris, the girl of my dreams.

"What cologne were you going to wear?"

"Eternity, same as always."

"No, you need something stronger, something that says I want to be your man."

Aaron normally wouldn't have said something as--well--stupid as that. In fact, he's the smartest out of all of us, but he also doesn't really know how to handle himself in these types of situations. Maybe it comes from being Mormon?

My name is David, and I'm a normal high school student.

And as a normal high school student, I was feeling slightly at a loss. I had never been on a date before, and Joy was someone who I had been wanting to date for weeks. If I blew it, I could never go back to the Coffee Plantation ever again (Who said that? What?)

"Instead of Eternity, you should wear--Axe!"

"You mean ass?"

"What about Obsession?"

"When has Eternity ever failed me?"

"I don't know. Why don't we ask all the other girlfriends you've had."

"I know. You should wear Eternity!"

"Wow, that's an original concept." Mark's definitely not the most intelligent person on the planet, but he's a great friend (who also has a LOT of experience in the dating world.)

"Ok, so we have the flowers, the cologne, what are we forgetting? Is Rebellion full?"

"I filled her up this morning." Rebellion is my charcoal Pontiac that my folks got me for my 16th birthday. That was back when things were a little smoother in my household.

"GO TO HELL, CAL!"

"ALREADY THERE, LINDA!"

Speak of the devil.

"I'll be right back you guys."

While I smoothed things over with my parents, the guys went through my closet to find something for me to wear. We were just going to get some pizza, but it WAS a first date, and it WAS on Valentine's Day.

When I got back to my room, I saw that the guys had laid out a pair of jeans with a black dress shirt and a red t-shirt for an undershirt.

"You wear the shirt untucked."

"I figured as much."

"Okay, so we're all gonna be at my house while David's on his date?"

"Not that I don't enjoy being David's fairy godmother, but I have a date too. I hear she's very flexible."

"OK, unneeded information, have a great time."

"And I'm meeting up with Leslie." Leslie was Michael's ex, but they ended on really good terms and decided that since neither of them was seeing anyone that they would get together for the night. This would be interesting to say the least.

"Don't worry, Aaron. I'll swing by after my date and pick up a really bad chick-flick."

"I'll come,too."

"Me too, but probably not in the same sense you guys will be." Mark was a virgin, but he did so many other sexual things that you would never guess he's never gone all the way.

Shortly after the guys left, I got a call from Joy. "Eager to talk to me?" I seemed to have become much more smooth since she asked me out.

"Listen, about that, I have to cancel."

Complete silence.

"Please don't get the wrong idea. My boss is making me work tomorrow night even though I requested the time off. No one will cover my shift because they all have dates. Even Clarisse, and you've seen her."

"She's not that bad..." Actually, she was, but I was trying to be nice.

"I'm really sorry David. If I could get out of it I would."

"Don't worry, it's not your fault that your boss is a jerk."

"I knew you'd understand."

"Of course. Call you tomorrow?"

"Sure."

I couldn't believe she cancelled on me. I had gotten a car wash and everything.

It was about 9:30, so I figured it would be ok to call Michael and ask him what I should do. Mark may have been the expert at giving head, but Michael was the expert on using your head with this kind of thing.

"I'm really sorry about that, David. I wish there was something we could--wait! I just had an idea. I'm gonna call Aaron and Mark really quickly. Stay on the line!"

As I waited for Michael to call me back, I thought about Joy, about when to ask her out again, and, more importantly, what Michael's idea was. After about six minutes, Michael called me back.

"Meet us in front of Coffee Plantation at 7:30. Wear what we picked out, and you might want to brush up on your Billy Joel."

"Billy Joel?"

"'For the Longest Time' to be specific."

So at 7:20, I hopped into Rebellion and jetted to the coffee plantation, singing "For the Longest Time" the entire way there.

Mark, Aaron, and Michael were waiting outside for me, dressed in the matching tuxedos we wore for choir.

Michael looked at me. "Are you ready?"

I looked inside to make sure Joy was at the counter. "SHE'S NOT THERE!"

"Relax, she just walked in from the back."

"Now are we ready?"

I took a moment to think. I was either going to win over Joy's heart, or I was going to make a complete fool of myself. But whatever the case may be, I was going to have my three best friends there to catch me if I fell.

"Let's do this thing."

Before we walked in, we waited for the lights to go off (Michael arranged all of this in the six minutes between our phone calls). Once the lights were turned off, we went in, and a flashlight pointed at Michael, Mark, and Aaron, who began singing the "Woh-woh-oh" part of the song. After they had done that phrase twice, another flashlight shone on me, which I figured was my cue.

"IF YOU SAID GOODBYE TO ME TONIGHT, THERE WOULD STILL BE MUSIC LEFT TO WRITE, WHAT ELSE COULD I DO, I'M SO INSPIRED BY YOU, THAT HASN'T HAPPENED FOR THE..."

We sang the entire song, me on lead and my friends on backup, and the entire time I looked at Joy, who seemed to be enjoying the performance. As we finished the final verse, I approached the counter.

"I figured that if you couldn't make it to Valentine's Day, then Valentine's Day would just have to make it to you."

"I--I don't know what to say. This was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me."

"KISS HIM!"

"KISS HIM!"

"FUCK BEHIND THE COUNTER!"

Thanks for that one, Mark.

Joy looked into my eyes and I looked right back into hers.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Joy."

"Happy Valentine's Day, David."

And that was when Joy and I kissed for the first time. And while I hadn't really had any frame of reference, I thought it was a pretty good kiss. And our first kiss, the moment that this could be serious, was shared with my best friends and the rest of the patrons at the Coffee Plantation. I have to say that it turned out to be a pretty great Valentine's Day.

David Adler

Normal High School Student