Season Two Preview #2 - New Characters

NEXT SEASON ON HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY, everything will change...

And not only with David and his friends, but with everyone else too.

Including a few new faces:

Steve Weiss is a free spirit who works at The UPS Store. He hates authority and his outrageous attire always poses questions among everyone.

Lupe Gonzales is the sexy new girl in choir who Mark feels is destined to sleep with him, although she may be looking at another.

Callie Anderson is a seemingly-sweet girl from Toronto who has joined the staff of The Summit Sentinel.

Mallory Wales, or Mal for short, is a punk girl who has just transferred to Summit Peak and is very secretive about her past.

And no one is as they appear.

Find out the real deal next season on HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY!

Premieres August 2009

Season Two Preview

NEXT SEASON ON HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY...

One will confront his past.

One will explore new options.

One will reach extreme heights.

And one will take a turn for the worst.

The only question is...
Who will do what?

Find out next season on HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY!
Premieres August 2009

Crash Into Me (Season One Finale)

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN ON HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY

"My friend Jamie is moving to Arizona!"

"You're David?"

"Yeah, and you are--"

"Honey, this is Jamie."

"Um, Joy, I don't know if you noticed but JAMIE IS A DUDE!"

"I guess I just thought--"

"Thought what? That I was going to leave Remi for you just because we slept together? This was a mistake."

"Who is Lucy Greer?"
"Some woman I worked with one time. Why?"

"Dad, why do you owe this woman money?"

"So, David, do you and Joy ever take baths together?"

"We haven't fucked yet, okay? We've come close several times in the last three months, but we just haven't."

"I've only slept with one guy, and that was Jamie. We gave each other our virginities when we were 14. Lots of friends do that."

"He was all packed and out of the house when I got home from the grocery store."
"So, he's just--gone?"

"Jamie and the guys told me that you had to cut early. Some family emergency?"

"Everything's fine. Nothing to worry about."

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"David, is your room clean?"

When really painful things happen to my mom, she always has a sudden urge to make everything really, really clean. I guess it's her way of saying, "I'm fine. I live in a beautiful house." It's funny how people hide the truth by putting a mask on. I know I was.

I had been putting a mask on in front of my friends,

I had been putting a mask on in front of Joy,

And I had been putting a mask on in front of my family. Over the years I had learned to stay strong in times of panic, but this was the first time I had ever completely swept it under the rug. It was the worst thing that had happened in a very long time, even among the times where I thought all hope was lost.

My name is David, and I'm a normal high school student.

But in the next couple of weeks, things were going to get out of hand, and not just because of my "daddy issues". It was a worldwide phenomenon.

This worldwide phenomenon is called prom.

As everyone knows, prom is the one night that things are supposed to be absolutely perfect. It is that special night that every girl dreams about, as well as the night that every guy fantasizes about (in a very different way than the girls). And this year, I was going to prom with Joy, as well as my best friends, Aaron Stanwick, Michael Florence, and Mark Adams.

Mark had gone to prom freshman and sophomore year, too, being the date of some upperclassman, and so he decided to return the favor to the freshman class of 2012 by bringing Leanne James, the star of the JV Girls' Soccer Team.

"But she's a freshman. FRESH-MAN!"

"Your point?"

"Mark, you're 17. She's 14. I don't know about you but that sounds kind of illegal to me."

"Not for another year."

"So, Aaron, who are you going with?"

There was a pause.

"You do have a date, don't you?"

Another pause.

"It's okay, Aaron. I'm going stag, too. That way there's no pressure."

"Oh, come on Mikey, we all know that you're gonna somehow spot Leslie from across the room, and you guys are gonna get together. AGAIN!"

"And perhaps you'll leave Froshy McFroshenstein for, I don't know, Faye Winston?"

"And on that note, I have got to go to work, but I'll catch you guys at school on Monday?"

So I walked out of the Coffee Plantation to go across the street to the UPS Store, where I had been working for about two and a half months. And I was about to use my free postage privilege to start what I hoped would be the best prom ever. The next day at 3:00 PM, a package would be delivered addressed to Joy Harris c/o The Coffee Plantation. Inside the package would be a ticket to prom, a rose, and a note that would read "Will you go to prom with me". And sure enough, at 3:06 PM that day, I got a phone call from the Coffee Plantation.

"UPS Store, this is David, how may I assist you?"

"By taking me to prom!!!"

She got the card, and I was very happy she liked it, until--

"We just need to find Jamie a date."

I pondered this for a moment. I mean, Jamie was Joy's best friend, but he was also her ex-lover. Well, okay they only slept together once, but what was to stop them from hitting it off again?...

I knew exactly what would stop them from hitting it off again.

"You want me to go to prom with some random guy?"

Michael's on-again/off-again girlfriend, Leslie Lawrence, was in my history class, so it was easy to catch her to ask her to go with Jamie to prom.

"Look, Leslie, he's new in town and the only people he knows are Joy, the guys, and me. And besides, how jealous will Michael be if he sees you with this guy?"

Leslie was always the one who instigated getting back together with Michael. She had made the plans for them to have dinner on Valentine's Day, and was supremely angry when he had to cancel on her.

"You make a good point. Who's Michael going with?"

"Nobody."

"Perfect. I guess I'll meet Joey before dinner at your house?"

"It's Jamie, and we're having dinner at my house?"

"Well, since you're offering, I think we should do a prom potluck!"

"But I--"

"I'll inform the rest of the party."

"No, that's okay. I'm hosting, so I might as well give the invitations."

So my friends, my girlfriend, her best friend, and my best friend's ex-girlfriend were all going to be in the same chaotic house. You know, the one with a neurotic mother and recently no male figurehead. Well, I thought to myself, at least it'll be clean.

"You set up Jamie with Leslie?"

I was almost shocked at how Michael reacted, but than I remembered that it takes two people to get back into a relationship over and over again.

"I didn't think it would be that big of a deal."

"Not that big of a deal? David, she's my ex-girlfriend!"

"Yeah, your ex-girlfriend. I figured by the number of times you two have gone out that you'd finally be over her."

"I am."

"Than why the hell does this matter?"

There was a moment of silence, but being that Michael is not generally one to talk about his feelings for more than five minutes at a time, he said:

"It doesn't. I was just--confused, that's all."

I decided that this was a good moment to reveal what I had wanted to say ever since that day at 3.14.

"Joy had sex with Jamie, and I'm afraid that because of their, you know, history that him being in town will be the end of Joy and me."

"So Leslie is--"

"--a way for Jamie's attention to be deterred from my girl."

Michael looked at me strangely.

"I have a feeling that's not the only thing that's going on."

"No, that's it. I just don't wanna lose my girl."

I would have told Michael about my dad leaving, and about Lucy Greer, and about all of the other shit that had been happening in my house, but I decided that one revelation was good enough for that day. I continued to sweep it all under the rug.

The next day at work, I got a call from the last person I expected to hear from.

"UPS Store, this is David, how may I assist you?"

I never get tired of that.

"Hi David. It's Jamie."

I was in shock.

"Hey Jamie, what's going on?"

"I just wanted to call and thank you for setting me up with Leslie. She sounds really cool."

"Anything for a friend of Joy's."

"David, are you really taking a personal call right now?"

"Yeah, so Joy will definitely be getting that package right away. We'll talk soon."

"Um, okay. Bye."

"It's a good thing you have good people skills, David."

Before we all knew it, prom was underway. And that abnormality I was talking about? That was about to play out as well.

"I don't have to cook, right?"
"No, it's a potluck."
"Okay, than I would be more than glad to host your friends."

Joy was the first to arrive at my house. She looked beautiful in her midnight blue dress.

"You look so beautiful."
"Thanks. Your vest and tie match my dress perfectly. This night is going to be perfect."
"No, you're perfect."

She gave a short look of cynicism, and than we kissed. It was the perfect moment--

"Hey, hands off my best friend, dawg."

--ruined by the idiot's presence.

"Hello, Jamie. I'm--so glad you're going to prom with us."

I was silently praying that he couldn't hear the hesitation in my voice. I mean, it's not that I care when people know I don't like them. It's just that this was Joy's best friend, and if she was given an ultimatum, she would choose her friend over me, so I wanted to stay more discreet about my hatred for him.

Aaron arrived shortly after Joy and Jamie, and than Michael, Mark, and Leanne. Mark still didn't have his license, or his permit for that matter, so he and his date bummed a ride off of Michael. Michael stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Leslie. She looked really good in her sparkly green gown. Leslie and Michael shared a glance for a second, and then--

"Michael, have you met Leslie?"
"Yeah. I have."

Jamie could tell that there was tension in the room, so he decided to stop.

Dinner was relatively enjoyable. My mom was in good spirits. Maybe now that my dad was out of the picture, she would be much less stressed out. It was still awkward, but not terribly.

The real awkwardness came after dinner, when we did our pre-prom pictures. First we did one of Joy and me, than one of Mark and Leanne, and one of Leslie and Jamie. We took two group pictures (serious pose/silly pose), and than came the awkward part. My mom wanted a picture of all the guys, which meant all the guys. Jamie got into the picture with one arm around me and the other around Aaron, who I thought for sure was going to pummel him to the ground. I know that Mormons are supposed to be peaceful, but Aaron was a big guy and could probably beat the shit out of anyone who looked at him the wrong way.

After a picture was taken of Leslie, Joy, and Leanne, we all figured that was the end, until--

"Mrs. Adler, take one of Joy and me. We've been best friends since the 3rd grade!"

I really hate that guy.

"Okay, get together."

I don't think it would have been such a big deal if it weren't for the fact that Jamie insisted on doing an awkwardly sexual pose with my girlfriend. Oddly, no one found anything wrong with this except for me, but I was willing to shove it under the rug. At least nothing extremely chaotic happened at my house.
We decided to roll into prom in style--in a limo--just like everyone else. As cliche as it is, prom is just not the same without a limo. Of course, that ride was awkward as well, considering Jamie was sitting next to Michael, who was slowly beginning to hate him as much as I did.

"So Leslie, are you excited about prom."
"I guess so, but I'm much more excited about afterward."

Excited, Jamie turned to Michael and quietly said, "I am getting some tonight!"

At the time, I wasn't exactly sure what Jamie had said to Michael, but I could tell from Michael's expression that it was all he could do not to kill Jamie right then and there.

When we finally got to the Scottsdale Hilton, the venue for prom this year, the place was really heating up. Normally, I'm not one for having sex with my clothes on in the middle of a crowded dance floor, but when Joy pulled me into the heat, it was hard to say no. So, we conformed with the rest of the group and grinded for a bit before getting our picture done. Across the room, Leanne was all over Mark, who told me that he had reserved a room in the hotel in case she was feeling up to it. Afterall, he had lost his virginity, so what was one more random fuck buddy? The answer: a freshman.

And Leslie was grinding with Jamie literally ten feet away from Michael. She was really loving what was in her mind "Operation Make Michael Jealous", and although my best friend was obviously hurt by what he was witnessing, it was helping me have a better time with Joy at prom. And then--

"What do you say we go get a room?"

Shock was the first emotion, and than confusion, and than divine ecstasy. But before I could get too ecstatic--

"Are you sure?"
"I've never been more sure about anything in my life."
"Okay. Let's go. I'm sure we can use Mark's room. He's not gonna be going up there for a while."

And sure enough, Mark gave me his key, and off I went to lose my virginity.

Meanwhile, Michael and Aaron were standing by the punch bowl, wishing they had brought dates.

"I really wish I had a date."
"Me too."
"Maybe we should just go."
"No, I payed $60 for this prom ticket and it will not have gone to waste. I have to figure out a way to get Leslie away from that--that--"
"Jerk?"
"Yeah, that's one word for it."
"Okay, so here's the plan. I'm going to strike up a conversation with Jamie, and while he's distracted, you're going to lead Leslie away from him and you're going to talk to her."
"Sounds like a plan."

While Aaron and Michael set up their game plan, Mark had momentarily left his date to go to the bathroom. But when he walked out, he found the last person he wanted to see.

"Oh, hello Mark."
"Faye. Um, how are you?"
"I am just having the best time with Remi. We even have a room upstairs reserved for later."
"Oh yeah, so do I."
"Really? With who?"
"Leanne James."
"Hahahah! A freshman? Wow, Mark, you've really lowered your standards since you took off your scarlett V."
"Why do you care?"
"I don't."
"Than do me a favor and get out of my fucking way."

"Mark, wait!"

"What?"

"You know, if things were different, than we could be together. I'm very happy with Remi.

"And I'm happy being a player. I'm over you, Faye. Don't make this harder than it is for both of us. Just let it go."

"Okay, well, I've gotta go, but I'll see you around Mark."

Mark told me later that it was the happiest moment of his life.

And upstairs, I waited for the happiest moment of my life. This was it. I was about to lose my virginity. It was almost bizzarre thinking about it. It was normal. We were in love and we wanted to connect sexually. Although it seemed almost random. I hadn't really thought about getting a room at prom because I didn't think it was she wanted, but sometimes we're wrong about people. Maybe I had nothing to worry about when it came to Jamie.

Michael, however, had a lot to worry about.

Aaron had successfully distracted Jamie by striking up a conversation about the vulgarity of the music video to "Womanizer". He chose that topic because he figured it would raise a lot of questions. It was perfect. As Aaron and Jamie talked about Britney Spears' comeback, Michael approached Leslie.

"Hey."
"Hey."
"Having fun?"
"Yeah, lots! You?"
"Yeah! Just the best time!"

There was a moment of silence.

"I'm having a terrible time."
"Me too! Jamie is such an asshole."
"Oh, you should have heard what he whispered to me in the limo. He thinks he's going to fuck you tonight."
"What? That's crazy. I just met him, and I didn't have sex with you even though we were in a relationship for four months."
"And than another relationship for two months. And one for a week. And one for 6 weeks."
"I get it! We've gotten back together a bunch of times."
"You know, it's never too late to get back together again."
"But what we keep forgetting is that as many times as we've gotten together, there's an equal number of times that we've broken up. And when we've broken up, there's always been a reason that we've broken up."
"Well, what if those so-called reasons were just--excuses? What if we were just afraid of something happening that was bigger than ourselves? What if we were just afraid of loving each other?"
"Well--I guess--I--"
"I'm not afraid anymore, Leslie. I love you."
"Oh, I love you!"

They kissed.

"So what do we do with Jamie?"
"Simple. Let him figure it out for himself."

It seemed that good things were happening in all of our lovelives that night (well, except for Aaron, but he didn't really have a lovelife). Finally, I heard Joy's voice.

"Are you ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be."

My girlfriend walked through the bathroom door wearing the sexiest lingerie I had ever seen.

"You are so beautiful."

She got into the bed and we made out for a few minutes, but as I went to remove her bra, she stopped me.

"What's wrong?"

She was silent for a minute while she situated herself next to me.

"What is it?"

She collected herself and said calmly, "Remember the first day that Jamie was in town?"
"Yeah."
"Well, that night, he kissed me. And I kissed him back."

Again I was shocked.

"It only happened once, and it didn't mean anything."

I was still in shock.

"Will you say something?"
"What am I supposed to say? That it's okay? That I'm totally fine? That nothing will change? Well it's not okay, and I'm not fine, and EVERYTHING is going to change."

I got up and started puting my clothes back on.

"David, I made a mistake, and I'm sorry. Anyone can have a slip."
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean they should. My dad had so many slips and my mom kept him because she kept waiting for him to change, and in the end, it didn't matter because HE LEFT!"

"What?"

It was silent for a moment.

"Yeah. That was the family emergency that came up, and I didn't want to face it."
"So you lied to me?"
"About something that affected ME! Something that pertained to ME! What you did affected BOTH OF US! It pertained to BOTH OF US!"
"Stop shouting!"

I paused to regain my composure.

"I'm sorry."

I took another deep breath. I was going to need it for what I was about to do.

"I should go."
"So what? You're gonna walk away because I made one mistake?"
"I can't forgive you for what you did. I just--I can't do this. Goodbye, Joy."

I walked out of the room, messily dressed and determined to make one final mark on my relationship with Joy.

"--and you know, I just feel sorry for her. I mean, it's like I feel like she wants to be good, but she can't break away from this image."
"Aaron, if you don't mind my asking, why do you care so much about this?"
"Because--I just think she could be so much better. Hey look, it's David."
"Hey David. What happened to you?"
"You did."

And with one swift motion, I punched Jamie in the face and knocked him to the ground.

"What the hell was that for?"
"You know exactly what that was for. Aaron, go get everyone. We're going."
"Okay. Where's Joy?"
"Not coming. I'll explain in the limo."

Aaron, Michael, Leslie, and Mark met me at the limo.

"Where's the frosh?"
"Grinding with Jake Green. Apparently she's the slut of the soccer team."

Once we were on the road, I told them all about what happened with Joy.

"Oh my God!"
"I'm so sorry, dude."
"How could this happen?"
"Did you still screw her?"

We all looked at Mark.

"Kidding. Sorry, it's not the time."
"So what are you going to do now?"
"Well, first I'm going to go home, and than I'm going to deal with my dad leaving, and than I'm going to deal with this."
"Your dad left? When? Why?"
"He left about two weeks ago, and all his note said was that he was sorry but he couldn't deal with it anymore. But I'm dealing with it."

When we got to my house, I was greeted with a sight that I wasn't expecting.

"Why are there cop cars at your house?"
"I don't know. But I've gotta go. I'll see you guys on Monday."

The limo drove away just in time for my friends to be spared the reason why there were cop cars.

"Ma'am, you have a right to remain silent, anything you say will be used against you in court, and you have a right to an attorney. If you can't afford one, one will be appointed to you."
"Mom?"

She was using her right.

When I came into the house, Libby and Jake were crying on the couch.

"What the hell is going on?"
"Lucy Greer apparently had Mom's name on the lawsuit, and since Dad is nowhere to be found, Mom was who they arrested."

I had a lot to deal with, but the other stuff could wait. This was my first priority.

"I'm going to go find him."
"What?"
"I'm going to go look for Dad. It can't be too hard to find him considering he has no money."
"Are you crazy? Where are you going to look? He's not answering his cell."
"First I'm going to the police station to file a missing person's report, and than I'm gonna go to all the familiar places. If he's not anywhere I look, than I'll come home and we'll wait for the cops to find him."
"But David--"
"I have to do this. I'll be back in a couple hours."

And so I got into Rebellion the Pontiac, and I was on my way to the police station. It was the most bizzarre and depressing evening of my life, but it seemed that everything--our entire relationship--had led to our break-up, and everything that had happened to my family over the years had led to my mom's arrest. Ishould have been prepared for all of it. However, nothing prepared for what happened next.

I turned left, I had a green arrow, and still I was hit by oncoming traffic. It was midnight and I was still hit by oncoming traffic. And it was as if every blow I had received that night had culminated into one moment where I was completely helpless. I guess in life, it is in our most vulnerable times that we are hit the hardest.

David Adler
Normal High School Student

I Hate Everything About You

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN ON HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY

"Are you Calvin Adler?"

"No, I'm his son. Can I help you?"

"Just make sure he gets these papers and let him know that he's being served."

"Did you find a job?"
"My name's Jim. Here's an app."

"If we're going to be in a relationship than we have to be able to talk about these things."

"Look, I don't usually do this, but I'm down three guys, and I really can't handle this job without at least one more person."

"I can come by Monday after school. Around 2:30."

"Perfect. Consider it your trial run. If you do a good job for me, you're hired."

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"Come on, kid! Get a move on!"

It was my first official day of work at the UPS Store, and my boss, Jim, was being a real tool. I had heard about difficult bosses from my parents, my sister, and kids at school who worked, but I never imagined that it would be so--brutal.

"David, stop standing there jerking off and get Mrs. Paulson her mail!"

"Yes sir." As I observed when I did my trial run the previous day, it's better to just say "Yes sir" when it comes to Jim. He's not a bad guy, or even a bad boss. He's just--well--harsh.

"Here you go, Mrs. Paulson. Sorry for the wait."

"Oh it's quite alright, deary. Have a wonderful day."

"You too."

Jim looked at me as the little old lady walked away with her mail. "It's a good thing that you have such strong people skills, or else you would NOT be working here."

Generally when someone insults you in such a way, you would feel insulted, but I just felt grateful. Each day more applications came in of people wanting jobs. These people would have to wait for a real interview while I got the job basically on the spot. It actually made it worth it to have an asshole like Jim as my boss.

Another good thing about working at the UPS Store was that right across the way, my girlfriend Joy Harris, worked at the Coffee Plantation, and on any given Saturday, my best friends, Aaron Stanwick, Mark Adams, and Michael Florence, could be seen sipping coffee (Hot Chocolate for Aaron), and talking about absolutely nothing. I had a feeling that it would be a while before I would be able to join them at the Coffee Plantation for a Saturday meeting, and while I was sad, I understood that I had to do what I had to do. It was what my family needed.

My name is David, and I'm a normal high school student.

And while having a job is a normal part of high school, I couldn't help thinking that spending time with my friends and girlfriend was more normal.

RING RING RING

Part of my job description is answering the phone.

"Thank you for calling the UPS Store. This is David, how may I help you?"

I was so good.

"I've been expecting a package. A really big package."

She was so bad.

"Sorry ma'am, but you are just going to have to wait for that package."

"That's ok. Really I just wanted to hear your voice and let you know that I love you. Have a great day at work."

"Same to you. Have a nice day."

"Who was the package from?"

I laughed a little to myself.

I worked until six that night, leaving at closing time.

"See you tomorrow, David."

"Looking forward to it."

Joy was waiting outside the store for me, and as I walked out, she gave me a huge bear hug.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too."

Joy was really excited as we walked to Rebellion, my charcoal Pontiac. Once we got on the road, she told me her exciting news.

"I have some exciting news!"

Told you it was exciting.

"What's up?"

"My friend Jamie is moving to Arizona!"

"Why?"

I have a certain animosity toward the state of Arizona. It's just too dry, and there's way too much cacti.

"Well, Jamie's dad got transferred here, so the whole family's moving."

"Well, at least Jamie will have a friend here."

Joy talked about Jamie all the time before this news came up. The two of them met at a summer camp when they were 8 and had been best friends ever since. Apparently she had come to Arizona a few times, but it would be different now that she was moving here.

"The BFFs will reunite!"

Have I mentioned today how much I love Joy?

When I got home that night, my parents were having one of their infamous arguments. You would think that hearing them argue would get old, but really and truly I just got used to it.

"How was WORK, David? You know, WORK!?"

My dad had lost his job because of the recession, and my mom had definite animosity toward this fact.

"Yes, David. Did you deal with any DIFFICULT CUSTOMERS? You know, people that are DIFFICULT!?"

"Work was fine, everyone was nice. Now will both of you grow up so I can do my Chemistry homework?"

They were silent, which I guess is what I wanted. I got to work on my Chemistry homework, but it was hard to concentrate. I kept thinking about this Jamie person. It was just a gal pal, it's not like it was anything to worry about. But then again, with her working, and being at a different school, and now having Jamie around, where would I fall on her priority list?

Before I knew it, I had been working at the UPS Store for two months, and Jim decided to give me Saturday off.

"I'm gonna be trying some people out. Don't worry, you still have a job, but I'm still understaffed, so I need to work with a couple other people. And besides, you've been working hard all week. Hang with your friends."

"Thanks, Jim." I was genuinely grateful. I hadn't really spent a lot of time with Aaron, Michael, and Mark outside of school since I got the job.

I met them at the Coffee Plantation, our Saturday routine pre-job. Joy was working that day, which was perfect, except there was this guy checking her out at the counter, and from afar it looked like she was flirting back. Before I could say a word to the guys, I made a B-line to the counter and tapped the guy on the shoulder.

"Hey buddy, this is my girl."

He surveyed me for a moment.

"You're David?"

"Yeah, and you are--"

"Honey, this is Jamie."

I was astonished at my latest discovery.

"I've heard so much about you, man."

He reached out his hand for me to shake, which I did, although reluctantly.

"Yeah, I've heard a lot about you too...man. Hey, Joy, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure, but we need to make it quick. I'm supposed to be working, afterall."

We went to the storage room, where she was "getting some more coffee beans". This seemed unconventional, and unprofessional, but I had to do it.

"Um, Joy, I don't know if you noticed but JAMIE IS A DUDE!"

"Um, yeah?"

"Um, why didn't you tell me?"

"You never asked."

This was true. I guess I just always assumed that he was a she. He was her best friend and all.

"Look, honey, I didn't want you to react this way."

"Than why didn't you just tell me what was what the first time you mentioned Jamie?"

"Because every other guy has reacted--well--badly the fact that Jamie had a y-chromosome."
"And how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not like any of the other guys?"

There was a short pause.

"Look, I need to get back to work, but why don't you guys take Jamie out for lunch or something?"

I pondered this for a moment, but I knew that I had no real choice.

Aaron, Michael, Mark, Jamie, and I decided to go to our favorite pizza place, 3.14. It had good pizza, good atmosphere, and, of course, several games on several plasma TVs. Sports generally ease the awkwardness, except--

"How can you hate the Red Sox?"

"I have roots in New York."

"Yeah, but why the Yankees? They're so--"

"Awesome?"

"Well, I was going to say boring, but I guess everyone's entitled to their opinions."

Things were getting unnecessarily heated between Jamie and I, but for some strange reason I couldn't stop. It was as if I was trying to find everything wrong with him.

"So Jamie, what do you think of Arizona?"

"I guess it's nice. At least Joy's here."

"So you and Joy are pretty close, huh?"

"Well, we've known each other forever. When we were kids, we took baths together."

This guy just didn't know how to quit.

"I took a bath with this girl Rene once. You know, there's nothing like the sight of a naked, wet body of the female sex."

I love all of my friends equally, but sometimes, I really want to kill Mark.

"So, David, do you and Joy ever take baths together?"

"I don't really think that that's any of your business."

"Sorry. I mean, any other time she's had sex with someone, I've know, but she never said anything about her sex life with you, so I didn't know if it just meant--"

"We haven't fucked yet, okay? We've come close several times in the last three months, but we just haven't."

If you couldn't tell, I was getting really pissed off.

Suddenly...RING RING RING

Saved by the bell! "Hello?"

"David, it's your mother. You have to come home right away."

"Why? What's going on?"

"I'll explain when you get here."

"Okay. I'll be there in a few."

"What's up?"

"That was my mom. I've gotta go, but I'll talk to you later."

"Okay."

"Hey, it was really nice neeting you, David."

"Yeah, you too." That statement was debatable.

I pulled up to my house and walked through the front door. What I found when I walked in was shocking.

There was a note on the coffee table that said in chicken-scratch handwriting: "I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. Goodbye."

"He was all packed and out of the house when I got home from the grocery store."

"So, he's just--gone?"

"It seems that way."

"Do Libby and Jake know?"

"Libby does. Jake doesn't. They're at his school carnival."

"Wow. Just--wow."

That night, I got my usual call from Joy. She sounded concerned.

"Jamie and the guys told me that you had to cut early. Some family emergency?"

On our first date, Joy told me that in order for us to work as a couple, we had to be able to talk about serious matters, but being that this was so catastrophic that I didn't want anyone to know, I said--

"Everything's fine. Nothing to worry about."

I felt bad at first, but I didn't want to add any more complications to my life. Especially since it was obvious that everything was about to change. So, I continued the conversation.

"So, Jamie tells me that you're not a virgin?"

Okay, probably not the best conversation topic, but--

"I've only slept with one guy, and that was Jamie. We gave each other our virginities when we were 14. Lots of friends do that. What did he say?"

In a smooth attempt to get out of the hole, I decided to go with the easy route.

"That's what he said. I just wanted to confirm. He seems like a (this was excrutiatingly painful) really nice guy."

There was a pause.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm so--glad you like him."

I didn't like him, and I didn't think he was a nice guy, but what else was I supposed to say? Joy was my girlfriend, and Jamie was her best friend, and apparently her "first", but little did I know, something else was going on. But with everything happening at home, I felt like being oblivious. Afterall, life is so much better without the added complications. When it comes to love, maybe ignorance really is bliss.

David Adler

Normal High School Student

Taking Care of Business

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN ON HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY
"I love you."
"Until I am ready to say it, I don't want to say it without meaning it."



"There's nothing wrong with waiting until marriage."
"I never said there was anything wrong with it. It just wouldn't be my choice."


"Hello, Mark."
"Faye."
"Lost your virginity yet?"
"Why?"
"No reason. Just wanted to know if you found whatever it was you were looking for."


"I guess I just thought that if we had sex, well, it would make me feel like less of an idiot for saying I love you."
"I love you too."


"So all I am is money to you?"
"No. Now the only money I see is the money that you're being SUED FOR!"


"David, you need to get a job. You need to be able to help out with some things."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


"I'm sorry Mr. Adler, but we are not hiring right now."

It was the fifth place that morning that told me that they were not hiring. It was beginning to get frustrating.

"Well, thanks anyway." That was the fifth time that I had said that exact same thing.

When my mom told me that I needed to get a job, I didn't realize that it would be so hard to do. I mean, a lot of people I know from school have jobs, and several people that just turned 16 are getting jobs every day, but for some reason, everywhere I looked there was a hiring freeze.

My name is David, and I'm a normal high school student.

And it should be normal for a high schooler to have a job, right?

In every fast food place, restaurant, and clothing outlet, it is not uncommon to find 16 year-olds such as myself working for their money, and making bank depending on how many hours they work. There had to be somewhere that I could work.

After I called the fifth place that morning, I met my three best friends, Aaron Stanwick, Michael Florence, and Mark Adams at our favorite little coffee shop, the Coffee Plantation. It was also the place where Joy Harris, the love of my life, worked. Worked. That's it!

I rushed into the Coffee Plantation, dropped my laptop off at the table with my friends, and headed to the counter, where Joy was working.

"Well if it isn't my favorite customer?"

"Well if it isn't my favorite--what's your position again?"

"Cashier."

"Yeah, and as my favorite cashier, you would know if there were any cash registers that needed attending to?"

"Sorry, babe. We don't have any openings right now, but there are plenty of places in this shopping center. I'm sure you'll find something."

"I hope so. My mom says I've got to start helping out. My dad certainly isn't doing much."

"Well, like I said, there are plenty of places that I'm sure would love to have someone as cute as you. Now, are you going to order something, or are you going to flirt more?"

"Can't I have both?"

I kissed my girlfriend and then I ordered a double espresso. I needed the caffeine to write my column for the school newspaper, The Summit Sentinel while still tuning into the guy talk.

"Good morning, gents."

"Got the laptop today?"

"I've got a column to write."

"I hate it when you have columns to write."

"Why?"

"Because you get into your writer mode."

"What Mark is trying to say is that when you are working on a piece, you're always focused solely on that. I can't even count the times that Mark has asked you what you've thought of an escapade and you've said, 'I'm sorry, what?'"

"That's so not true."

"Yeah, it kind of is."

"Look, the Sentinel is like my job, and part of that job is writing an annual column. And I'm much more focused doing it here than at the madhouse. Especially with everything going on with the lawsuit, it's like World War IV at my house."

"Wouldn't it be World War III?"

"No, that happened when I was 14."

My column was called "David's Desk", and it was an academic advice column that ran every month. This month, it was all about how to not let the economy affect how you do academically, including ways for you to distract yourself from the foreclosure signs and focus on your grades. I knew what I was going to write about, but getting the words to flow in just the write manner was what was going to be difficult. I began writing about the different extracurricular activities that you could busy yourself with, as well as the academic programs with which you can get involved, when suddenly--

"You slept with Faye?"

"Shhhhhhhhh! Not so loud! I don't want word to get to Remi about this."

"Mark, you have done some pretty stupid things, but this is just unbelievable."

"How did this even happen?"

And he told us the story. Mark was on a date on Friday night, and saw Faye Winston, a girl who Mark had once been in love with, sitting alone at the plaza. He told his date that he would be right back and approached Faye.

"Where's Remi?"

"He decided to spend the weekend with his parents."

"And he didn't invite you?"

"His parents don't even know about me. Why the fuck do you care?"

"I don't."

After an awkward silence, Faye looked at Mark. "Will you sleep with me?"

And that is how Mark Adams lost his virginity.

"You are an idiot."

"That's an understatement."

"Look, guys, I made a mistake. It just happened."

"Didn't you pay attention to the PowerPoint in sex-ed last year?"

"Twenty-five slides that all said learn to say no is not exactly the best way to teach sophomores not to have sex."

We were amazed. Absolutely amazed. It was only a matter of time before Mark would lose his virginity, but how could he lose it to such a heartless bitch?

Seeing as the conversation continued to consist of bashing Mark, I went back to my column. I started typing, and all of a sudden I was on a roll, until--

"David, is that a help wanted sign over there at the UPS store?"

Could it have been that my prayers had been answered? Was there a job waiting for me there?

"I'll go check it out right now. Watch my laptop."

I got up from the table and walked across the street to the UPS Store. I had seen people my age work there on more than one occasion, but I never really thought about working there. It could have been a cool job.

"Hi, my name is David Adler, and I'd like an application please."

"Certainly. My name's Jim. Here's an app."

"Thanks."

I carefully filled out my application, making sure to fit in everything the way it needed to be. After I finished, I handed Jim my application. "Here you go."

"Thanks, son."

"So how soon will I know if I got the job?"

"A couple weeks, or less depending on how many apps we get. I can imagine we'll be getting a ton considering how the economy is."

"Well thank you Jim. I hope to see you soon."

I've heard that sucking up is generally a good thing when it comes to seeking employment. It shows the employer how much you care about getting the job.

I left the Coffee Plantation with my column finished, and my hopes high that I would get a job at the UPS store, but that wouldn't stop me from applying everywhere else I could.

I picked up several applications in that shopping center; Old Navy, JoAnn's, a few restaurants, and even this pottery-painting place. Pottery-painting was never really my style, but I was a little desperate.

I got home at around two. My mom was out grocery shopping, and my dad was probably visiting the sick. He's really not a bad guy. He just doesn't know how to take care of things the right way. Libby and Jake were both home, though. Since I didn't really have anything else to do, I joined them at Libby's laptop, here they were cracking up.

"What's so funny over here?"

"Libby's childhood."

"Huh?"

"We're watching Punky Brewster. Sit down, it's wonderful!"

My sister Libby was going to be 30 in April, but she often went back to her childhood in the 80's and watched the programs that she watched back then, including Punky Brewster, KIDS Incorporated, and the Mickey Mouse Club. It was always interesting to watch these with her because she knew every line, and everything that was going to happen.

"Cherry gets locked in the refrigerator, and Punky and Margo have to save her!"

Just like that.

We spent a couple hours watching 80's television, and then we helped mom bring in the groceries. Before even saying hello, she said, "Did you find a job?"

"I submitted a bunch of applications"

"How aggressive were you?"

"I asked when I could do interviews, and they all said the exact same thing: 'we'll review applications and then we'll call qualified applicants."

"Well I would call a few of them in the next couple of days. It's very important that you get a job."

"I know, Mom."

RING RING RING

Saved by the bell.

"Hi, Joy."

"Hey. Do you want to grab something to eat tonight?"

"Sure. I'll pick you up around 7?"

"Sounds like a plan. See you then."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

As I hung up the phone, I realized that my mom was standing right there the entire time. I hadn't told her that Joy and I were at the "I love you stage."

"Who was that?"

"Joy."

"And what did you say to her at the end?"

I gulped. "I love you?"

"Wow. I didn't realize you two were so...close."

"As long as they're not having sex."

I could have used this moment to tell my mother, my sister, and my brother about our near-sexual experience, but instead I just shook it off. It was awkward enough that they were finding out about the three little words.

"So how long do you think it'll be before you tap that?"

"Really Jake? Tap that?"

"It's what they say on TV."

I don't remember being that stupid when I was 14.

Later that day, as I started getting ready for my date with Joy, I got a call from Mark.

"I was--blurbleblurble--and the--jizzoshantic--and it was--glibboglabbo--"

He was blubbering like an idiot.

"Mark, calm down. What's wrong?"

He took a moment to calm down. I had never heard him crying before. I had to wonder what it looked like.

"I--I called Faye--"

"Yeah?"

"Be--because--because--"

"Because why?"

"I--I had to--I had to--"

"Hold on, Mark. I'm coming over."

I called Joy to tell her I might be a little late to pick her up because I had to help Mark. She told me that it wasn't a big deal and that we could just meet for ice cream later. I thanked her and headed off to Mark's.

When I arrived at his house, I could not believe what I saw. Mark, who usually took much pride in his appearance, was sitting in his family room in sweat pants and a wife beater. I didn't even know he owned such garments.

"You look horrible. What's going on?"

"I called Faye earlier because I couldn't stop thinking about last night."

"Well, you did lose your virginity last night."

"I wish I didn't. At least not to her."

We all knew that he would regret it, but we didn't realize he would regret it so immediately. He told me the story.

Mark had called Faye to tell her that last night was one of the best nights of his entire life and that it meant a lot to him.

"Why? It was just sex."

"What do you mean it was just sex?"

"Well, it's not like we're together. I'm still with Remi."

"But we slept together. I guess I just thought--"

"Thought what? That I was going to leave Remi for you just because we slept together? I love Remi."

"Than why the fuck did you sleep with me?"

"Isn't that what you wanted?"

"I wanted you! I'm in love with you, not your genitals!"

"This was a mistake. Mark, whatever you and I had before is over and is never coming back no matter how many times we have sex. I am with Remi, and that's how it's going to be."

Listening to Mark's story broke my heart. Yes, he was an idiot sometimes, and yes, he did a lot of really dickhead things, but he was still one of my best friends and I couldn't stand seeing him hurt so badly.

"Mark, I'm going to call Joy and tell her that I have to cancel our date tonight, and then I'm going to call Michael and Aaron and the four of us are going to go out to dinner and a really stupid movie. How does that sound?"

"That sounds good. But I feel bad about ruining your date with Joy."

"She'll understand. And remember, she cancelled on me once, so I kind of have the upper hand."

"Okay."

Joy wasn't too mad. She understood that Mark needed me, and that I would make it up to her. Aaron and Michael were over in a heartbeat, and then we went to get pizza, saw the latest teen comedy, and then we decided to go to the Coffee Plantation--this time without my laptop.

I was the driver for the evening, and Mark sat in front. We never let him sit in the front as a joke because he couldn't drive, but I figured I could make an exception tonight. After about an hour and a half, we were ready to leave, but before we left the shopping center, I walked by the UPS Store. It was closed, but Jim was inside doing inventory or something. He waved to me to come in.

"Hi, Jim. What's up?"

"Look, I don't usually do this, but I'm down three guys, and I really can't handle this job without at least one more person. You were the only person who turned in an application today, and we're closed tomorrow. How early can you start?"

I was stunned. "I can come by Monday after school. Around 2:30."

"Perfect. Consider it your trial run. If you do a good job for me, you're hired."

"Wow Jim. Thanks."

"No problem. Now get the hell out. I'm workin' here!"

"Okay. See you Monday."

Luck is a funny thing. Sometimes your luck is good, and things like my newfound employment opportunity happen. But luck can turn around on the most unsuspecting people. Faye WInston was the only girl who Mark didn't have good luck with, and even though he slept with her, he didn't accomplish what he wanted. Once again, she wasn't going to leave her boyfriend for him. It was times like these when I forgot about my family and the hardships that we had gone through together, and I remembered the good things in my life, like watching old episodes of Punky Brewster and going out with someone I loved, and going out to dinner and a movie with my best friends. These were what I considered the finer things in life, and sometimes, it's just worth it to focus on these rather than the challenges that you are faced with it. Sometimes you just have to take a break and relax.

David Adler

Normal High School Student