WARNING

HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY contains strong language and some themes not suitable for audiences under 17. Viewer discretion is advised.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Stand By Me

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN ON HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY
"This is a ticket for you. One day, when you do understand all of this, please come find me."

"What's going on?"
"My father's dead."

"We are now making our final descent into Ben Gurion International Airport."

"You are David?"
"Yes, and you are--"
"Ronit. I buzzed you in."
"Oh hi, it's so nice to meet you."
"I lived across ze hall from your fazer."

"Wow, I can't believe you're breaking up with me."
"I just don't know if I can handle a relationship right now."

"May I help you?"
"Calvin Adler is being evicted."
"Are you kidding me?"
"This is no kidding matter. Please tell Calvin Adler he has three days to get out."

"How--how did he die?"
"We assume it was suicide. We heard a gunshot and when we broke into his apartment he was just lying here, the gun next to his body, surrounded by blood."

"Are you sure that going to Israel is such a good idea?"
"David is our best friend. Whether he likes it or not, he needs us."
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BUZZ
"Who is it?"

I expected it to be the landlord with another friendly reminder to pack up all of Cal's shit.

"Guess who?"

But instead I got the three people I least expected.

"Mark? Is that you?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"And me."
"And me."
"Holy shit!"

I buzzed them in and about a minute later, Mark Adams, Aaron Stanwick, and Michael Florence were standing outside my dead father's door.

"HOLY SHIT! It IS true! Oh my fucking God!"

To say that I was surprised would be an understatement. To say that I was ecstatic would be even more of an understatement.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?"
"Well, Aaron told us about Cal, so my mom's new beau found us three seats on the next flight to Israel."
"That easily?"
"He's more loaded than my cock."
"Dang it, Mark! We almost went an entire 24 hours without you making some vulgar sex joke!"
"Sorry, that one actually was really unnecessary."
"You think?"

My name is David, and I'm a normal high school student.
And perhaps the biggest understatement of all was that now, more than ever, I needed my boys.

While the guys got settled in (meaning, while they slept like babies), I went across the hall to talk to Cal's very hot neighbor, Ronit.

"So she just dumped you?"
"Yeah. I mean, she wasn't planning on doing it right then and there, but she did."
"I am so sorry, David. You are dealing wiz so much right now. Zis was not a good time for zis."
"You're telling me."
"May I offer you some rebound sex?"
"No thanks. I'm not really in the mood."
"Okay. Just putting it out there."

Ronit was sexy, in her 20s, very easy to talk to, and seemingly even easier to get into bed, but between my grief over my father's death, my newfound singleness, and the fact that I needed to get all of Cal's stuff out of the apartment in the next couple of days, I had enough going on. At least the guys were there to help me out.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"I'll get it."

Ronit opened the door to find Michael standing in front of it. As soon as he saw Ronit standing there, the outlines of her nipples clearly visible underneath her tight pink t-shirt, his heart melted.

"Uh, hi."
"Hi."
"I'm--uh--looking for David."
"Hi Michael."
"Uh, hey. We're all awake."
"Cool."

Awkward silence.

"Michael, this is my neighbor, Ronit."
"Nice to meet you, Michael."
"Nice to meet you too."
"Michael I'll be there in a minute."
"Um--okay."

Ronit laughed weakly when the door closed.

"My three best friends flew in this morning to surprise me and have been sleeping for the past couple of hours. That one's usually a lot smoother."
"He's cute. Is he a virgin like you?"
"No, he's not a virgin...and neither am I!"

Ronit laughed hysterically.

"I'm only teasing. You should go to your friends. I will see you later."

That night, the guys and I went to Orna and Ella, a popular bistro. Over dinner, I brought them up to speed on my trip thus far.

"So then, after the funeral, I call Callie and she breaks up with me!"
"Seriously? Why?"
"She said she couldn't handle a relationship. I think it's about the whole Joy thing, but she'll never admit that because it would be showing a sign of weakness."
"What a ho."
"That's not even the best part! Right after the break-up, some douchebag comes to the door and hands me an eviction notice!"
"No!"
"Yeah, so I have to get all of Cal's crap out of the apartment in the next couple of days."
"Where are you going to put it?"
"Beats me! I mean, I guess I could ship it back home, but that's gonna cost a ton."
"Well, maybe tomorrow we could go through everything. You know, help you figure out what you want to ship and what you feel you can leave behind."
"Is that really my decision? I mean, it's Cal's stuff."
"But you're his son, and you're entitled to make these decisions."
"I guess you're right."
"So, what's the story with Ronit?"
"Ooo, you like her, huh?"
"Who's Ronit?"
"This beautiful woman that lives across the hall."
"DIBS!"
"You have a girlfriend."
"Oh yeah. Sorry, it's still kind of a new concept to me. I'm gonna call her right now. I'll be back."

His hand was already halfway down his pants as he headed toward the payphone.

"Anyway, what's the story?"
"Well, she lives alone, she wears very little clothing most of the time, and she has offered me sex twice."
"And you haven't taken her up on it?"
"Well, the first time I was in a committed relationship, and the second time I really didn't feel like it."
"God, if I were you I would have been in her before she even finished offering!"
"Who are you, Mark?"
"Seriously, this really isn't like you at all."
"Well, it's just that ever since me and Leslie broke up I have been hornier than a ram!"
"Nice."
"Well, if she's offered David sex, I'm sure she'd be more than willing to serve you as well."
"She did think you were cute."
"Oh my God! She talked to you? What did she say?"
"She asked if you were a virgin, and I said no. By the way, do I seem like a virgin to you guys?"
"I don't really know how to answer that."

After dinner, we went back to the apartment and sat on the floor in front of the fireplace.

"He killed himself. No warning signs, no note, just a pistol lying in a pool of blood."
"Damn. I'm so sorry."
"No one saw it coming?"
"No. Ronit said that they heard a gunshot and that was it."
"Shit."
"You know, he never called once while he was here. Never wrote, never e-mailed. Never cared."
"I'm sure he just wanted to give you your space."
"And you know, I never tried to contact him either. I guess I didn't really miss him. I don't even know why I'm here paying respect to a man who I obviously don't care about."
"If you didn't care about him, you wouldn't have come."

Michael was right. I did feel like I needed to bring some closure to the situation. Cal and I hadn't spoken since he left back in December, and to be honest I didn't really feel a need to contact him, but he was on my mind constantly, and the idea of rebuilding my relationship with him was always there. I just wished I'd had a chance to save our relationship before he was buried.

The next day I woke up before the other three, so I threw on a sweatshirt, a pair of gym shorts, and a hat, and headed toward the beach to take a walk.

The early morning tide crashed in as I walked along the sandy shore of the Tel Aviv beach. It was about 6 a.m., and there were very few people around. The sun had begun to rise and I couldn't help but smile at the beautiful sights around me. It was all so calm, so refreshing. For an instant, I felt that everything was right with the world and just breathed it in. What started out as a walk became a jog, and what became a jog transformed into a run. I felt free as I sprinted across the the sandy threshold. For the first time in a while, I was genuinely happy.

When I got back to the apartment, Aaron had begun making a large pan of eggs while Michael channel-surfed and Mark updated his Facebook status on his iTouch.

"Good morning. Where have you been?"
"Woke up really early so I went for a run on the beach."
"How was it?"
"Exhilarating. It was a good way for me to clear my head."

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I opened the door to find Ronit, wearing a tight halter top and low-cut jeans.

"Boker Tov, David!"
"Good morning to you, too. Won't you come in?"

The guys' jaws dropped at the sight of her.

"Guys, this is Ronit. Ronit, this is Aaron and Mark, and you met Michael already."
"Nice to see you again, Michael."

Michael blushed.

"So, what are your plans for ze day, gentlemen?"
"Well, we were going to start going through Cal's things to see what we should ship back home."
"Zat sounds--boring."
"Well, unfortunately he's being evicted, so it's something that has to be done."
"Look, you are only going to be in Israel for a couple more days. Zere's so much to see. You can pack up his stuff later. Right now, we are going to Jerusalem."
"Jerusalem? Isn't that kind of far?"
"It's only an hour's drive to ze most beautiful city on Earth. Come on!"

And before I could argue the importance of getting our work done, Michael, Mark, and Aaron were out the door.

By the time we got to Jerusalem, I was glad we blew off going through Cal's stuff. It was more beautiful than I had ever imagined; the walls were covered in ivy and some of the buildings dated back so long ago that I couldn't even begin to estimate how old it was.

Finally, after walking around for a while, we approached the Western Wall in time for morning minyon. Ronit went to the other side of the mehitza (the curtain that divides the men and the women) and the four of us went closer to the wall. There were people of all walks of life; elderly men, college students, and even children were there writing notes and placing them within the cracks of the wall. When they took the Torah out, I was nearly brought to tears; it hit me that every Jew at some point in their lives had faced eastward toward the wall. Whether they were in America, England, or standing right in the spot that I was, their eyes were fixated on the same exact point. At the end I said the mourner's prayer for Cal and wrote a short note to stick in one of the cracks.

We met up with Ronit and headed back toward Tel Aviv for dinner. She treated us to lunch at Tazza D'oro, a delicious cafe in the neighborhood of Neve Tzedek. Afterward, we went back to the apartment and the four of us began going through Cal's stuff.

"First thing's first, are you going to want any of his clothes?"
"Well considering he was much shorter and fatter than I, I probably won't be wearing any of it."
"Okay, how about his sheets?"
"They're nice, but I'm not sure they're necessary."
"How about his furniture?"
"Well, we have furniture at home, so I don't think we need to ship it."
"How about the pans?"
"Nah."
"The dishrags?"
"No."
"Is there anything here that you do want?"

I didn't say a word. I just headed toward his room.
I looked around. The bedsheets and the floor were still stained with blood, and a chalk outline of his body had been drawn, but overlooking the crime scene was his jewelery box, sitting neatly on the dresser for him to grab a watch or a necklace or a ring. In looking at it, none of the other horrible sights in his room seemed to matter. Cal had died; I knew that. But I knew also that I didn't need every single thing he had in his possession to remember that although he was no longer living, and although I hadn't spoken to him in many months, I still loved him, and he still loved me.
"This is what I want," I said as I held the box for them to see. "It contains all of his jewelery, which he probably treasured most in his life. If anything should be saved, it should be this box and everything in it."

The next day we packed our bags and got ready to leave. I had gotten the closure I needed, and it was time to go home.

"Come on, guys. Our flight leaves at 3."
"It's only 9."
"But there's something I need to do before we go to the airport."
"What?"
"Get your swim trunks on, boys. We're going to the beach."

We brought our bags to Ronit's apartment in case the landlord came to lock up Cal's apartment and throw away the key. I took one last look at the apartment where my father had lived and died, and then we advanced toward the beach.

"David, you know I'm all for fun in the sun, but do we really have time?"
"This will only take a minute. Help me dig!"

With our feet we dug a small hole in the sand and when I thought it was deep enough, I placed the box inside.

"Are you sure about this, Dave?"
"More sure than I have ever been about anything."
"Wait--I don't get it. I thought you were going to save the jewelery box."
"Yeah--for Cal."
"What?"
"Well, these watches and necklaces and rings don't belong to me, and they don't belong to that damn landlord. They belong to Cal, so I figured that if I bury them, then they'll be with their rightful owner."
"That is potentially the most beautiful thing I have ever heard."

We kicked sand over the jewelery box and stood for a moment, staring at the sand.

"So...what now?"

We stood for a moment in silence before I broke the solemnity.

"First one to the water's a rotten egg!"

We raced to the warm waters of the Mediterranean Sea and just screwed around like teenagers are supposed to do. We dunked each other's heads and pushed each other around and laughed so hard that we cried. The sun was shining, the water was warm, and above all else, the four of us were together.

And once again, in the waters of Tel Aviv, Israel, everything was right with the world.

David Adler
Normal High School Student

Friday, April 2, 2010

Leaving on a Jet Plane

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN ON HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY
"What's going on?"
"My father's dead."

"TELL ME SHE'S LYING! TELL ME DADDY'S NOT DEAD!"
"I'm sorry sweetie. Daddy's gone."

"Callie and I got back together yesterday."
"You did? That's really great! I'm so happy for you guys."
"But this means you and I can't see each other anymore, okay?"
"You guys were seeing each other?"

"We don't have the money to go, so we don't even get to pay our respects to our dead father?"
"Who cares? He was an asshole, let him rot with no one to pay respects."
"How the fuck could you say that?"
"Because it's the truth."

"You didn't answer any of our calls, and you wouldn't talk to us yesterday, and you never cry. So, what the heck is going on?"
"You really want to know what's going on?"
"No, I've been waiting out here for you because I don't want to know."
"CAL DIED!"

"I almost forgot. This is a ticket for you. One day, when you do understand all of this, please come find me."
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"DAVID AARON ADLER!"

Louder please, I'm not sure the president of Indonesia heard you quite clearly.

"Uh, hi Mom. Did you...get my note?"
"Oh, you mean the tiny piece of paper that said 'Mom, Cal left me a ticket to Israel, going to the funeral'?!?! What the hell are you thinking?"
"That Cal left me a ticket to Israel and that I'm going to the funeral."
"No, you're wrong. You will get into that Prius RIGHT NOW and come HOME!"
"Someone has to be at Cal's funeral, Mom, and I can't let this ticket go to waste. I will be back in a few days, a week tops."
"Now you listen here, mister--"
"Love you, bye!"
"DAVID!"

I had never blatantly disobeyed my mother before, and I have to say that I really didn't like the feeling of being rebellious toward the one adult in my life who has consistently been there for me, but being rebellious was the only way to do what I needed to do.

My name is David, and I'm a normal high school student.
And while disobeying my parent was a totally normal high school activity, disobeying my parent in order to bury another was not.

Back at home, my mom, along with my brother Jake, my sister Libby, my half-sister Maya, and my--"stepmother" Lucy Greer, were all in a frenzy as they tried to figure out how to remedy the situation.

"He just--went to Israel?"
"Apparently. Here's the note."
"Mom, Cal left me a ticket to Israel. Going to the funeral. Be back in a few days. Love, David."
"At least he left a note."
"That's not the point! The point is that he is off to a foreign country--alone--without my permission and without any consideration for anyone else in this family!"
"What's consideration?"
"Thinking about other people."
"So David din't think of you?"
"Nope, he just up and left."
"To be with Daddy?"
"No, to--"

Mom stopped and think of what the three year-old socrates before her just said.

"Yes. To be with Daddy."

And suddenly she understood why I had made my decision.

But there was one group of people who still didn't know why I made the decision or even that I did...

"Guess who has two thumbs and got laid last night?"
"Does Mal mind that you share your sex life so freely?"
"It's locker room talk, she understands that."
"But we're not in the locker room. We're at the Coffee Plantation."
"Yes we are, and David's not. Has anyone heard from him? I texted him and he never responded."

Aaron Stanwick knew something that neither Mark Adams nor Michael Florence knew.

"He's starting to scare me. He hasn't been himself."

And he knew also that it wasn't his place to tell, that it was my business, and that under no circumstances should he open his mouth and say--

"Cal died."

My friends stared in amazement.

"What?"
"When?"
"How?"
"Look, I don't know any more than you do, but all I know is that David freaked out at me when I tried to be sympathetic, and that he probably needs some time."
"Well how much time is he going to need?"
"However much time he needs. His father died."
"His father that he never talks to."
"His father nonetheless. Now look, Spring Break starts tomorrow. A week of space should be good for him."

And back on the plane, my alone-time began. As I watched the flight attendant pointing to the emergency exits, I thought about the trip I was about to make. I had never even left the country, let alone taken a trip to Israel. The only reason I even had a passport was because Libby had this irrational fear of the military issuing a draft, and so we all got passports so that in the event of a draft, we could all flee to Canada. So legal, I know. But none of that mattered at the moment. All that mattered was that I was going to a place that generations of Jews had visited, a place that even Moses was not allowed into, and the place where my father wanted to be buried. It was, for all intents and purposes, the most important place in the world.

As the plane took off and headed toward Ben Gurion International Airport in Tel Aviv, I remembered being a little kid and listening to Cal tell me stories about going to Israel; how it was the most beautiful place in the entire world, how there was nowhere on Earth like it, how the girls were hotter than the sun itself. I remembered how I felt even at seven or eight years-old about the country, and more importantly about Cal. I thought he was the most amazing person on the face of the planet. He promised me always that we were going to go to Israel together someday, the entire family altogether. That would never happen. Not only was Cal dead, but we hadn't been a family in a very long time. No trip to Israel was ever going to fix that.

While I waited for Continental Airlines to begin its in-flight presentation of The Princess and the Frog, I turned on Coldplay's Viva la Vida album full blast on my iPod and drowned myself in the opening intervals of "Life in Technicolor."

17 hours later, I was in the Holy Land.

"We are now making our final descent into Ben Gurion International Airport. Please stay in your seat with your seatbelt fastened until we instruct you to remove it. Welcome to Tel Aviv and thank you for flying with us. עכשיו אנחנו עושים הירידה הסופית שלנו בנתב"ג. בבקשה להישאר במושב שלך עם חגורת הבטיחות שלך מהודק עד להנחות אותך להסיר אותו. שלום תל אביב מודה לך על טס איתנו."

The view of the city was breathtaking as we made our final descent. The water was as blue as the sky and against the beach backdrop were buildings and highways and cars and people, all with their own stories and many of them Jews like me.

I hurried off the plane, my luggage in hand, and took a deep breath. This, I thought to myself, must be what home feels like.

The first thing I did was find a phone book so I could look up Cal's address. Once I found it, I grabbed a cab.

"223 Nehemia Street please."
"Ok."

Thank God everyone in Israel speaks English!

And back in a primarily English-speaking country, my friends were becoming increasingly worried as none of them had heard from me in almost 21 hours. So, they decided to stop by my house to make sure I was okay.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

My mom answered the door.

"Hi Mrs. A. Is David around?"
"He didn't tell you?"
"Tell us what?"
"Um, David's in Israel."
"What?"
"Well, his father is being buried there, and apparently he had a round-trip ticket, so he left and he'll be back in a few days. Anyway, I'm sure he'll give you all a call when he gets a chance. Goodbye now."

Mom closed the door, leaving everyone stunned.

"He just--went to Israel?"
"Without telling us?"
"I know, it's--bizarre."
"Do you think he told Callie?"
"I would assume so. They did get back together the other day."
"But she still doesn't know about J0y."
"He wasn't planning on saying anything."
"He's gotten pretty good at not saying anything, don't you think?"
"Aaron--"
"Don't 'Aaron' me. I'm tired of his distance. He never tells me anything anymore. It's like he doesn't trust me or realize that I will always be there for him no matter what."
"Except that there was that period of time last semester when you left all of us for that bitch."
"So now this is my fault?"
"Guys! There is nothing we can do about it while he's a million miles away. Let's just go get some pizza or something."

As they headed toward Michael's Jeep, Mark stopped dead in his tracks with a crazy idea in his head.

Meanwhile, as the cab came to a stop, I stared out the window at the apartment complex. In getting out of the cab, I would be going to a dead man's home; my dead father's home. I wasn't sure I was prepared for it.

"Longer you wait, more you pay."

I had only brought a couple hundred dollars, and I was in no mood to waste it all sitting in a cab pondering whether or not to go into my father's apartment. I paid the man, got out of the cab, and buzzed someone who was on his floor.

"Allo?"
"Uh, Shalom, uh, shem sheli David Adler, ben Calvin Adler."
"Oh, ze rabbi's son? He mentioned zat your Hebrew is no good."

Way to have some faith, Cal.

"Um, so I've come here to go to his funeral and all that, and I'm going to be staying in his apartment. Can you please buzz me in?"
"Okay."

BUZZ

"Thank you."

I headed up to the second floor and walked down the hall to Apartment 13, where Cal lived. Across the hall in Apartment 12 was a beautiful woman in her 20's with long black hair, tan skin, and large breasts tucked away in a silk robe. She was smoking a cigarette and leaning against her apartment door.

"You are David?"
"Yes, and you are--"
"Ronit. I buzzed you in."
"Oh hi, it's so nice to meet you."
"I lived across ze hall from your fazer. So sorry for your loss."

Again with the sorrow.

"Uh, thanks."
"Would you like a cigarette?"
"No thanks, I don't smoke."
"Oh, well at least join me for breakfast."
"Breakfast? It's almost 5."
"Not in Portugal it's not."

At first I didn't realize what Ronit was hinting at, and then I realized that she was talking about--

"Woah woah woah, look lady I hardly know you, and besides I have a girlfriend who I will not be cheating on. I am here to do one thing and one thing only--bury my father. I will be gone in a few days."
"Oh, I am so embarassed! I am so sorry David, I did not mean to offend you."
"It's alright. I'll just see you at the funeral then. It's tomorrow afternoon, right?"
"Right. See you."

Things like that NEVER happen to me stateside.

RING RING RING

A very tired Callie Anderson answered the phone.

"Hello?"
"Guess who?"
"David? Oh my God where are you and why are you calling me at 2 a.m.?"
"Oh shit, forgot about the time difference."
"What time is it where you are?"
"5 p.m."
"5 p.m.? Where are you, Australia?"
"Israel."
"WHAT?"

I could hear Callie's parents in the background asking her what the commotion was about.

"I can see that this is a bad time for you, so why don't you get some sleep and we'll talk tomorrow."
"Tomorrow for you or tomorrow for me?"
"It'll be soon, okay?"
"Okay. I love you."
"I love you, too."

As soon as I got off the phone, it occurred to me that if it was 2 a.m. Callie's time, it was 2 a.m. my time, so I crashed on Cal's couch.

The funeral commenced at 11:30 a.m. on a Tuesday morning. It was a closed casket, which was odd for Cal since he always wanted to be in full view of everyone, but it was better this way. From the curtained area reserved for immediate family I saw what looked like hundreds of people. Being that I was the only immediate family member present, I sat alone, I mourned alone, and I felt very, very alone.

We proceeded to the burial place and the rabbi tore a piece of black ribbon that I had pinned to my black jacket (it was customary to rip an article of clothing and wear it during the seven day period of shiva, or immediate mourning). As I watched them lower his casket and said the Mourner's Prayer I nearly broke down, with no one to catch me as I fell to my feet.

Ronit hosted a luncheon in honor of Rabbi Adler at her apartment. She wore a black, very conservative suit (much more comforting than what she had been wearing).

"Hello, Ronit."
"Allo David. How are you doing?"
"I guess I'm okay considering the circumstances. If you'll excuse me I have to make a call."

RING RING RING

"Hello?"
"Hi, I know that it's like 11:30 your time, but I figured that since it's Spring Break you'd be up."
"Yeah, I'm up. So what's up?"
"Well, the funeral was today."
"How was it?"
"It was a very nice service, and a ton of people were there. I think he would have enjoyed it."
"So when are you coming home?"
"Not completely sure yet. There are some things that I wanna see before I leave. I don't know when I'm gonna be in Israel again."
"Okay, just don't stay too much longer. There's some things we need to--talk about."

That couldn't be good.

"What do you mean there are things we need to talk about?"
"Let's not do this over the phone."
"What, are you breaking up with me?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line.

"Wow, I can't believe you're breaking up with me."
"I just feel like we need to spend some time--"
"Apart? We already did that, remember?"
"I just don't know if I can handle a relationship right now."
"What changed between Friday afternoon and now? Is this about me sleeping with Joy? Because if you ask me, whatever happened while we were on our break stays there and has nothing to do with us."
"David I have really gotta get to sleep."
"No, Callie, wait!"
"Call me when you're back in Arizona."

"Is everysing alright?"
"No. Thank you so much for everything, Ronit. I'll see you later."

I walked across the hall to Cal's apartment and I slammed the door. I couldn't believe that I buried my father AND got dumped on the same day. Could things have gotten any worse?

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"May I help you?"
"יש לנו צו הפינוי של קלווין אדלר"
"IN ENGLISH PLEASE!"
"Calvin Adler is being evicted."
"Are you kidding me? Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?"
"This is no kidding matter. Please tell Calvin Adler he has three days to get out."
"Three days? How am I supposed to get all of this shit out of here in three days?"
"As ze Americans say, when zere's a will, zere's a way."
"Because I am SO willing to do this. Okay, thank you for the notice. Bye bye."

And once again the door was slammed, and I screamed.

And somewhere over the Atlantic ocean, a baby was screaming next to Mark.

"SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!"
"Is there a problem, sir?"
"Yes, I was seated next to this adorable baby, and he REFUSES to NAP!"
"Well I'm sorry, sir, but you are just going to have to endure it."

And across the aisle a few rows up, Micahel and Aaron sat.

"Are you sure that going to Israel is such a good idea? I mean you know David. He's very private about this kind of stuff."
"Aaron, David is our best friend. Whether he likes it or not, he needs us. And besides, Mark's new potential stepdad was able to score us these last-minute tickets. How could we resist?"
"Very true. I just hope he's not too overwhelmed when he sees us. I know how he can be."
"Well, when we get there we will be sleep deprived and we will have to crash for a few hours. By then he'll be hosed down and we'll just have another Fearsome Foursome adventure."
"Fearsome Foursome?"
"You're right. We'll work on the name later."

So while my friends commuted toward the land of milk and honey, I sat in the land of salt and vinegar. I was astounded. I couldn't even trust Cal to pay rent on a small Israeli apartment.

I ventured into the bedroom to see if I could find any boxes to start packing stuff up, but upon entry, I was greeted by the sight of dry blood on the edge of the bed and the floor next to it.

"Oh my God!"
"Sad, isn't it?"

Startled, I turned around to face Ronit.

"Shit, you scared me!"
"He was such a nice old man. No one saw it coming."
"Saw what coming? You're scaring me."
"Did anyone tell you how your fazer died?"
"No. How--how did he die?"
"We assume it was suicide. We heard a gunshot and when we broke into his apartment he was just lying here, the gun next to his body, surrounded by blood."
"Oh my God! Oh my God!"

And on the unspacious floor of the tiny bedroom in the small apartment in the minute country of Israel, I completely broke down. It was proof--physical proof--that Cal had died and that this was happening. And in my entire life, even in my darkest hours, I had never felt so devastated or alone.

David Adler
Normal High School Student


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Whisper to a Scream

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN ON HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY
"I almost forgot. This is a ticket for you. One day, when you do understand all of this, please come find me."

"I think that we need to spend some time apart before we make any decisions."
"But this isn't goodbye, right? We still have hope?"
"Of course we do. We're not ending things forever. We're just--taking a break."

"Do you have a condom?"
"Yeah."

"What do you say we end this break and go back to being boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"So I suppose you'll tell her about Joy tonight?"
"I don't know if it's really necessary at this point. Everything is good again, and I don't want to mess it up."

"You know for a first-timer, that was oddly really good."
"Have you ever made love to a virgin before?"
"I've only had sex with one other guy, and he was quite far from virginity."

"I came to tell you that Callie and I got back together yesterday."
"You did? That's really great! I'm so happy for you guys."
"But this means you and I can't see each other anymore, okay?"
"You guys were seeing each other?"

"You know you're not totally innocent here either, Callie. You went to the movies with that guy on Valentine's Day and said if I wanted to see other people that was totally fine."
"I didn't mean see their entire bodies!"

"What's going on?"
"My father's dead."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh my God."

When you tell someone of a tragedy in your life, that is usually the first response.

"David, I am so sorry."

That is usually the second.

"Is there anything I can do?"

And that is usually the third. So, since Callie Anderson was being textbook with her responses, I was textbook about mine.

"It's fine. I just--I've gotta get home."

I'm sure she said goodbye to me as I walked toward the prius--the prius that once belonged to him, the prius that he gave to me upon his departure to Israel--but I didn't hear her because all I could think about were the words I had just uttered: "My father's dead"; as if it was really as simple as that.

My name is David, and I'm a normal high school student.
Except that most high school students, although their parents may not be together, have two living parents. I now had one.

The drive home was silent. Faint sounds of Coldplay's "Parachutes" album played in the background, but I couldn't even tell what song was playing. I could hardly make out road signs or the shapes of the cars around me. If it hadn't been for the bright red brake lights that shone as the vehicles around me came to a stop, I would have inevitably crashed. Flashbacks of every second spent with Cal Adler zoomed through my mind as I accelerated onto the 101.

RING RING RING

I didn't pick up the phone. I didn't even look to see who was calling. All I did was let it ring.

"Hey Dave, it's Aaron. Michael, Mark, and I wanted to know if you wanted to catch a movie tonight. Call me back."

Aaron Stanwick, Mark Adams, and Michael Florence hung up the phone with absolutely no idea the circumstances that I was in.

"David always answers his phone. I wonder why he let it go to voicemail."
"Maybe he's busy in bed."
"Mark, do you ever think of anything else besides sex?"

Mark thought for a minute.

"No, no I don't."
"I'm gonna try calling him."

RING RING RING

I let the ringing continue yet again. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't even want to go home because I knew I would be around people, but home was where I needed to be.

"Hi David, it's Michael. Call me back, we're starting to get worried."
"Maybe he's--seeing a movie."
"He always turns his phone off for movies, and his phone rang."
"Well, maybe we're just reading too deep into this. He may not have his phone on him."
"That's weird for him. He never goes anywhere without his phone."
"I think what we need to do is just calm down. I'm sure he'll call back any minute."

My friends stared at their phones impatiently for about a minute.

"Maybe we should go to his house, you know, just to make sure he's okay."
"Good idea. I'll drive."

As Mark and Michael got into Aaron's red truck, I approached the right turn that led into my neighborhood, then made the first left, and arrived at my house. I took a deep breath as I reached for the garage door opener, and I drove into the garage. I opened the car door and stumbled out of the prius, gently allowing the car door the swing shut. I advanced toward the door that led into the house, took another deep breath, and slowly turned the doorknob, greeted by the horrible, heartbreaking sound of a screaming three year-old.

"Sweetie, it's okay, please don't cry."
"DADDY'S DEAD! DADDY'S DEAD!"
"Maya please, everything is going to be fine."

As I proceeded into the living room, where Lucy Greer was trying very hard to console her daughter Maya, everything stopped. After about 10 seconds, Maya ran toward me, old tears streaming down her face and new ones forming in her eyes.

"TELL ME SHE'S LYING! TELL ME DADDY'S NOT DEAD!"

I no longer had enough strength to hold myself up; as soon as my baby sister spoke the words, I was brought to my knees and the tears began to form in my own eyes.

"I'm sorry sweetie. Daddy's gone."

I held my sister for a while, trying to calm her as well as myself. I could hardly breathe, and each tear seemed to choke me as I gasped for air. I couldn't even begin to imagine how Maya must have felt. She was three, and she didn't really know her father very well to begin with. Now she never would.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I got up and carried Maya back to her mother before I answered the door. I took a deep breath and opened it to find my three best friends on my front porch.

"Hi guys," I said fighting back tears. "What--what are you doing here?"
"Well, we tried to call you a couple times to see if you wanted to hang out tonight, and you weren't answering, so we got worried and decided to come here."
"Wow, that's--that's--that's--I can't talk right now, okay?"
"Okay, but do you wanna do something tonight?"
"I don't think I can tonight guys. I'm--I just--I'll see you guys later."

I closed the door and I went upstairs.

"Um...David never cries."
"Something's wrong."
"Guys, let's just leave him alone. He'll be fine, we just need to give him some space."

Upstairs, Mom, Libby, and Jake were discussing the matter at hand.

"So what happens now?"
"Well, there will be a funeral."
"Are they shipping his body here? Can they do that?"
"Cal's will said that he wanted to be buried in Israel, so the funeral will be there. Oh, hi David."
"Hi. So, his funeral's gonna be in Israel?"
"Yes, unfortunately."
"Well, that's just great. We don't have the money to go, so we don't even get to pay our respects to our dead father?"
"Who cares? He was an asshole, let him rot with no one to pay respects."
"How the fuck could you say that?"
"Because it's the truth."
"Jake, our father is dead and you're really going to talk about him that way?"
"What, so now that he's pushing daisies I'm supposed to forget about all of the bad shit that happened when he was in my life? Sorry David, but I don't shove things under the rug. I'm not you."
"I'm not shoving anything under the rug. No one, no matter how horrible they were, deserves to be remembered like that."
"Hitler's remembered like that."
"I can't believe you are comparing our father to Hitler."
"Both of you shut up. This is not a time to bicker. I wish we could go to Israel and attend the funeral, but we just can't."

The next day was Sunday, which meant no school, no work, and no reason to leave the house--except for one that I could think of.

At 8:00 a.m. I got into the prius and headed toward a nearby synagogue. I got there at approximately 8:10, and services started at 8:15. There were not many people there, just enough to make a minyon. When the rabbi began the service, I put my tallis around my shoulders, lay my tefillin on my arm and my head, picked up a book and followed along. It had been a long time since I had been inside a synagogue; I had prayed in the chapel at the hospital when my friend Leslie Lawrence had a miscarriage, but that was different because it was just me. I always found great power in the Jewish community; I always loved the idea that it didn't matter where we all came from, that all that mattered was that we were there and that we were together. At the end of the service, the rabbi announced that we would be doing the Mourner's Kaddish and I stood up.

After he had finished reading the names he had he said, "Is there anyone I have forgotten?"

"Chaim ben Shmuel"

And so the few of us that were in mourning recited the prayer. It was hard to get the words out at first, but when I realized I wasn't mourning alone, it became somewhat easier to mourn.

At the end of the Mourner's Kaddish, I folded my tallis, removed my tefillin, and headed out to the prius. But before I reached the door, the rabbi stopped me. For a rabbi, he wasn't that old. Maybe 40, 45 at the oldest.

"Who did you lose?"
"My father. He died yesterday."
"I am very sorry for your loss."
"You know, people always say that they're sorry, but what are they sorry for? It's not like it's their fault."
"My name is Evan Starr, I'm the rabbi here at Kikar Tzion Congregation. I just wanted to let you know that you are welcome here during your time of grief."
"Thank you, Rabbi Starr. Anyway I have to be going now, but it was nice to meet you."
"It was nice to meet you too, um, what did you say your name was?"
"I didn't. It's David, David Adler."
"Well David, I hope to see you around, and once again, I truly am sorry for your loss. It must have been very difficult to lose your father at such a young age."

I knew that Rabbi Starr would not be the last person to extend condolences, but I wasn't ready for the entire world to know yet.

When I got to my house, Aaron Stanwick was waiting in my driveway.

"Aaron? What are you--"
"I'm here to find out what's going on with you. You didn't answer any of our calls, and you wouldn't talk to us yesterday, and you never cry. So, what the heck is going on?"
"Aaron, I really don't want to get into all of this right now. I have a lot to deal with."
"So let me help you deal with it. I'm your best friend, dang it!"
"You really want to know what's going on?"
"No, I've been waiting out here for you because I don't want to know."
"CAL DIED! Okay? Happy now? My father is dead and I don't get to go to the funeral because his dying wish was that he be buried in Israel. People think they can help me deal with this, but they just can't because they don't know what it's like. So, Aaron, now that you have pushed me into answering your question, I am going to go inside and try to enjoy the rest of my Sunday."
"David, I'm so--"
"SORRY? Everyone's sorry, Aaron! Callie's sorry, the rabbi is sorry, you're sorry, I'm sorry, the starving children in Haiti ARE SORRY! But it's not any of your faults, so stop taking the blame for it."

I left the prius on the driveway, walked up to my porch, and slammed the front door shut.

"Hello? Anyone home?"

No answer.

"It's me, I'm home."

Still no answer.

"Nobody?"

No answer again, so I took a deep breath and screamed. I screamed in the middle of my living room, and I screamed all the way up the stairs. I screamed as I knocked books and other trinkets off the shelves in my room. I screamed as I threw various items at my wall, and I screamed as I ripped the sheets off of my bed. And when I was finished screaming, I collapsed among the rubble in my room and cried into my carpet. That was when I saw it in the corner of my eye, lying on the floor partially buried beneath a copy of Catcher in the Rye.

I suddenly remembered the last conversation I ever had with Cal.

"Take care of yourself, son."
"I've been doing it for awhile, Dad."
"You called me Dad."
"Well, it's the last time I'm ever going to see you, so why not?"

As I remembered that last hug, I slowly advanced toward the piece of paper

"Someday you will understand all of this, David."
"And someday I hope you will too."

I bent down and removed the item from the piles of disarray.

"David!"
I stared down tearfully at the pice of paper that was now in my hands.
"I almost forgot. This is a ticket for you. One day, when you do understand all of this, please come find me."

I held the ticket to my heart for a moment, and then without thinking I began packing.

David Adler
Normal High School Student