HIGH SCHOOL NORMALITY contains strong language and some themes not suitable for audiences under 17. Viewer discretion is advised.

Friday, September 25, 2009

I Don't Wanna Be In Love

"I'm David, and I'm a narcotics addict."
"Hi, David."

"Michael, I'm not going to date this girl. I just want to talk to her."
"Which leads to dating."

"I had a really great time tonight."
"Me too, David. I really like you."

"If things were different, than we could be together. I'm very happy with Remi."
"And I'm happy being a player. I'm over you, Faye. Don't make this harder than it is for both of us. Just let it go."

"I know that I'm only a sophomore, but I know that I can handle anything you put in front of me."
"Well I saw a lot of potential in you when you auditioned, Lupe."

"I am so sorry I'm late! I had to talk to my counselor about some scheduling things. But I'm here now. Callie Anderson."
"David? Oh my God, I didn't know you went here!"
There were a lot of things that Callie Anderson and I didn't know about each other, including each other's phone numbers.

"Um, yeah, I thought I mentioned that."
"I guess it never came up. We only went out that one time."
"Yeah, I've been meaning to call you, but I don't have your phone number."
"And I'm sure it is something you can get after class, right? Absolutely. Moving on..."

My journalism advisor, Mrs. Beasely, decided it was time to step into our reunion so she could continue discussing the syllabus.

After class, I wanted to get out of their as quickly as possible. Don't get me wrong--I really liked Callie, and our first date would have been great had we been able to finish what would have been our first kiss, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to be involved with anyone. My last relationship ended with a car crash and a drug problem.

My name is David, and I'm a normal high school student.
And as much as I really liked Callie, I didn't want to complicate things even more than they already were.

"David, wait up!"

I turned around to see her walking toward me. She was perfect--beautiful, smart, funny--not to mention that she had gone through the same narcotics addiction as I had.

"Hey. What's up?"
"Well, as you probably guessed, I'm new here, and since I know you and I don't know anyone else at the school, I was wondering if I could, you know, hang out with you during school hours?"
"I don't see any reason why not. We're friends, right?"
"Yeah. Friends."

Awkward silence. Crickets chirping.

"Um, so I've gotta get to class, but I'll see you later."
"Yeah. See ya."

After our short-lived conversation, I couldn't wait to get to jazz choir. There's nothing I hate more than being blindsighted by beautiful women.

Jazz Choir was a great way to end the day. There were twenty people in the choir, 5 in each voice part. Michael Florence, three other guys, and I made up the bass section, while Aaron Stanwick headed up the tenor section with a group of freshman guys. Since every member of Jazz Choir was also a member of Mixed Choir, we didn't need to go over the choir handbook, so we sang through an arrangement of "April in Paris" instead. When the bell rang, Michael, Aaron, and I headed to the parking lot. We were all parked in the same general area. While we waited for Jake to get to my car, I told them about Callie.

"What are the odds of that happening?"
"Well, she did tell me that she wanted to be a journalist, so that explains how she got into my journalism class."
"We're talking about the whole same school thing. It's just--odd."
"I realize that, Aaron. The question is what do I do?"
"Well, I think the only thing you really can do is be friends and try to pretend like the date never happened."
"But the date did happen, and it was a great date, and I can't just imagine a world where we didn't have that great first date."
"Do you really want to go out with this girl?"
"I want to, but I don't think I can."
"David, you can do anything your heart desires."
"Man, I kinda wish Mark was here to make that sexual."

Finally Jake approached the Prius.

"Where the hell have you been?"
"None of your business."
"You're a freshman. What kind of business could you have?"
"David, let's go."
"Okay. I should probably get the prince to his palace. See ya."

I didn't have any homework except to get a couple syllabi signed, so when I got home, I put on some gym shorts and lay down on the couch. Right as I was about to fall asleep--


"David, something really bad happened."

It was Mark Adams on the phone, probably calling to tell me he had crabs.

"Did you get crabs?"
"No. Worse."
"David, seriously, something horrible has happened!"
"Okay, okay, what's going on?"
"Well, since I have a half-day, I decided to go to 3.14 for a slice of pizza, and, well..."
"Well, what?"
"Faye was there."
"So? I thought you guys resolved everything at prom."
"We did."
"So what's the problem?"

I could hear Mark taking a deep breath on the other end of the line.

"I slept with her."
"Yes. I fucked her in the bathroom at 3.14."
"Which one?"
"The men's room."
"Nice. How did this happen? What about Remi? He's PSYCHO!"
"I know that. What am I going to do?"
"What did you do last time you guys slept together?"
"Made an ass out of myself by assuming it was more than it was."
"Okay, I'm calling Michael and Aaron and I'm picking you up. We are going to the Coffee Plantation."
"Why do we always have to discuss our issues over coffee?"
"Because if we go to 3.14 we'd be returning to the scene of the crime."

"You did what?"
"Mark, I'm ashamed of you. How did you let this happen--AGAIN?"
"I don't know. I guess she was just there and I was horny."
"You're always horny! That doesn't mean that you were going to have sex with Lupe right then and there when she walked out of Miss Connoly's office."

Mark was silent as he looked at Aaron.


Still silent.

"Mark, why are you looking at me like that?"
"Because, I know why I slept with Faye."
"Spit it out."
"It's because Lupe made me so horny that I had to fuck someone, and Faye was the first person I saw."
"Why did you have to fuck anyone?"
"Why do you have to use that word to describe it?"

Mark stared at us again. He had that weird look on his face that he gets when he's hiding something and knows he has to say what it is. After he drew a deep breath, he spoke again.

"I--um--didn't have sex all summer. There, I said it. Are we all happy campers now?"

We had no words. Just blank expressions on our faces.

"It started when I went out with this one girl, Kendall. Anyway, at the end of the date we go back to her place and she wants to fuck. So we go to her room really quietly so we don't wake her parents, and then, well..."

Everyone at the Coffee Plantation stopped what they were doing and observed Mark's freakout. After his exclaimation, he buried his head in his arms and cried hysterically.

"Mark, I don't think it's that big a deal."
"Easy for you to say! You don't ever have any--IMPOTENCY problems with Leslie!"
"This is true. But lots of guys have issues getting an erection. That's why they make viagra."
"Don't mention the V word!"
"Mark, calm down. You're making a scene."
"The world is a stage, Aaron. EVERYTHING'S A SCENE!"
"And I guess this is the pivotal point where the audience members are gripping their seats in response to the actor's revelation?"
"Mark, the point is that it doesn't really matter anymore. You had no problems getting an erection from Faye. Now we have to figure out what to do next."
"Well, obviously this conversation doesn't leave the Coffee Plantation."
"That's a given."
"Okay, then what?"
"You just have to make sure not to have sex with her again. You have a really bad history with this woman. Do you want to get hurt again?"
"Then it's as simple as that."

On the drive back to my house, I thought about what Michael had said to Mark, wondering if it really was that simple. I didn't want to get hurt again, but Callie wasn't the one who had hurt me. And I had gotten closure with Joy, so it wasn't like I had her on my mind. But something still stopped me from diving head first into a relationship even though I really wanted to be with her.

The next morning, Callie found me in the parking lot.



"Callie, I really like you."
"But I'm not looking for anything serious right now, especially with all of this stuff going on with my family, and work, and journalism, and--"

She seductively leaned toward my ear and whispered:

"Who's asking for something serious?"

Well this is an unexpected turn of events.

"Well, I guess I just--"
"Shhh. Don't use your mouth for anything else but this..."

Suddenly I felt her soft lips pressed against mine as fireworks exploded in the corners of my mind. It almost reminded me of my first kiss with Joy, but this time was different. There were no expectations...

"So we're friends?"

...no blossoming relationship...

"Yeah, you could call us that."

...no pressure.

David Adler
Normal High School Student

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